Newsletter 1040

The Night Before Christmas!

Okay,

it is that time of year.

i am about to offer my rendition of

The Night Before Christmas.

Before I do,

however,

I need to give you the true meaning of HanaKwanMass.

Hana = Hanukah

Kwan = Kwanza

Mass= Christmas

All three in one.

Now,

why do I do this?

Because Politically correct idiots

say I must not offend anybody.

If i say Merry Christmas

I offend others.

If I say Happy Kwanza

I offend others.

If I say Happy Hanukah

I offend others.

Well,

heck,

I can do that.

And if I put all three days

into one greeting…

I CAN OFFEND EVERYBODY!

Yippee!

Now that I have offended everybody

let’s delve into that arcane bit of literature,

The Night Before Christmas.

Go get yourself your favorite beverage,

put your feet up,

and read on!

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Twas the night before Christmas

I was in my shack

primed and ready

for the red fat attack.

my weapons were loaded

the windows were barred

all would be safe

while I was on guard

The chimney was decked

with concertina wire

I crouched by the couch

ready to fire.

I had an M60

with ammo to feed

I didn’t care

if the red fat did bleed.

A loaded shotgun

and grenades to spare

when red fat came down

I’d blow him out of there.

Throwing stars and knives

and a really long sword

and if that didn’t work

I knew a bad word.

Sitting there late

my eyes started to close

when suddenly I heard

a bunch of ho hos.

Off with the lights

safety off, too

I  watched the fire close

and heard a sound from the flu.

‘Ouch and gosh darn it

who put the wire here

those are my undies

starting to tear!’

Then a shower of soot

and a grunt and a groan

he landed in the fire

and gave out a moan.

He was rubbing the place

where the wire did tear

so I held down the trigger

and lead filled the air.

belt after belt

did I deal the red fat

he danced and he jumped

I knew he felt that!

then quicker than spit

I ran out of lead

but enough was enough

he had to be dead.

Boy was I shocked

to see him stand tall

stepping out of the fireplace

not bothered at all.

So I grabbed up the 16

to mow him down

he had to be hurting

cause I saw his big frown.

Then I was empty

and he came straight for me

I pulled out my knives

and sliced him with glee

He jumped to the side

moving real quick

disarmed my knives

with a well placed kick

then he dropped the big bag

he had on his shoulder

reached forth his arms

and his anger did smolder

He grabbed hard my neck

and held me up high

I tried kicks and punches

but I was like a fly

Not karate nor judo

no art did work

and he grinned a mean grin

and called me a jerk

‘Don’t you know

you stupid little man

Christmas is forever

in spite of your plan.’

Then he threw me aside

and proceeded to work

giving presents to all

and to me a great smirk

And when he left

the great big red fat

he left me a lump of coal

the big red fat rat!

HANAKWANMASS TO ALL

and to all a great work out.

Have a great work out!

Al

Now…

HANAKWANMASS!

And have a great work out!

Al

And don’t forget to check out the interview

BTW

I’ve got nothing but five star reviews on 

The Science of Government.

It’s really nothing more than applying matrixing to politics.

Matrixing + Politics = Sanity

I told you matrixing works with anything.

Here’s the link…

The Secret of Sacred Sweat

Good evening!
And a happy, hot, muggy work out to you.
I remember working out way back in the seventies.
San Jose dripping with sweat.
The gi became utterly and totally soaked.

Now here’s the odd thing.
It didn’t smell.
I don’t mean to gross you out here,
talking about body odor,
but there’s an interesting phenomena here,
and I want to explain it.

Martial Arts Chi Power!

The first few years,
when I was doing Kenpo…
the karate gi smelled.
I would work out,
and it would need heavy washing and drying.
Even then,
there was an odor that built up over a year.

Then I went to the Kang Duk Won,
and the gi stopped smelling.
I was working harder,
sweating more,
and this was the time I would work out
and the gi would be as if dipped in a pool of water,
dripping with my perspiration.

But it stopped smelling!

Now how could that be?

But,
I didn’t have the time nor funds
to explore the odor saturation points
of a Karate uniform.
So I just kept working out.

A decade or two later,
(time flies when you’re having fun!)
I was working out in Los Angeles,
and I was doing Pa Kua Chang.
And my perspiration was silvery.
I would look at my arm,
not water,
but silver water.
It was absolutely fascinating.

These days
I don’t sweat much.
I sweat a little,
but…
I don’t work as hard.
My body is not tense,
I don’t use the muscles,
I use energy,
and…
and that is the trick.

When you are first starting the martial arts
you think it is all muscle.
You pump iron
and cross train
and do body weight calisthenics,
and you work hard!

After a while,
the muscles are in tune
and the body is doing what it is supposed to,
and you’re getting a little older,
and you figure out the easier way of doing things.
You use energy.

Now,
what does it take to use energy?
Less effort.
The less effort you do
the more energy you have.
Isn’t that an interesting equation?

< e = + E

If you read the old Taoist texts
you’ll come across this phenomena.
My favorite saying
is from the Tao.

‘Do nothing
until nothing is left undone.’

Can you see how Laotse is talking about energy?

Use less energy,
and less energy,
until you are using no energy.

How fascinating.

Of course,
it was a mystery
until I had plumbed it,
done enough martial arts,
but now I am what he is talking about.

How weird.
It’s worse than old age,
and quite a bit better.

Anyway,
to go on,
when I put out that candle
on the Matrixing Chi page,
how much energy do you think I am using?

I am actually using less energy
than I have used
for anything in my life.

It’s true.
I use the motions of the body,
to stir the energy,
but I use the mind
to project it.

I wrote all about this procedure
in Matrixing Chi,
and I threw in the Candle book
to help out.

I wanted to make sure that everybody knew that it was easy.
That they would get it.

Projecting Chi is the easiest thing I have ever done,
but I had to go through a lot of sweat and discipline
to still my mind,
so that I could actually project a thought.

Okay,
here’s the link…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/4c-matrixing-chi-power/

Now,
have a GREAT fourth of July!
Extra work outs all around!
And don’t forgot to hoist a suds
(or soda if you’re under age)
to freedom,
and the ability to be the best you
that ever practiced a Martial Art!

Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/4c-matrixing-chi-power/

The Premium Martial Arts Work Out

Martial Arts Work Outs to Put You in the Best Shape!

I always chuckle when I see people spending big bucks for a martial arts work out. As if spending money is going to change the texture of your sweat. Well, perhaps it will, but not in the way one thinks.

This guy worked out at home!

I bought my first kicking bag for $2. It was a duffle bag from the war surplus store packed with free sawdust. I kicked it until it fell apart, then had the cobbler sew it back together for a buck and a half, and repacked it.

What is it? $50 or $60 bucks for a monthly membership at your local gym?

Instead of riding on an exercise bike, I had a real bike, put ten or twenty miles a day on it. You can pick up a bike cheap these days, and do without the monthly dues, or the payments for  an exerbike.

Instead of running on a treadmill, I just go out and run. On the rolling belt thing I use the same muscles, on the street, I use a variety of muscles, and I have to stay alert and watch where I am going.

I guess the message here is that the martial arts should be as natural as possible. I have nothing against looking good, or getting a bag, but I think it’s silly to pay money so you can go hang out in a place with people in leotards, obsessed with their bodies, instead of being obsessed with the martial arts.

Heck, save that money and use it for DVD Martial Arts Courses, or karate books, or kung fu books, or something like that.

My first punching board was a pair of rug samples tacked to a tree. I beat the holy heck out of that thing, and it was free. The samples were free, the tacks were free, the tree was free…and my sweat was freely given.

My first home made martial arts dojo was a rug I picked up for free on the street, the martial arts equipment I have described here, and I filled it amazing amounts of sweat and fun.

You don’t need to pay big amounts of money to get in shape, or to learn the martial arts. All you need is the desire. And maybe a few martial arts DVDs from, ahem, me. They are inexpensive, just like a martial arts work out should be.

The Unbelievable Bruce Lee Workout Routine (Part One)

The Bruce Lee Work out Routine was an amazing accomplishment, and it resulted in Bruce being able to do superhuman feats of strength. (See part two of this article for a list of these accomplishments.) That Bruce Lee did it day after day, month after month, year after year, describes a human toughness that is amazing.

Before one even thinks about doing a Bruce Lee work out, one should understand that the Bruce Lee Workout Routine depended upon one simple principle. The mind is stronger than the body, and can make the body go through anything. In spite of doctor’s words, Bruce pushed himself through his regular work outs with beyond human intensity.

From seven to nine every morning Bruce would work in abdominal exercises, flexibility, and running. From eleven to twelve he would do weight lifting and cycling. This was the core of his physical training, and he would spend odd times throughout the day working in specialized techniques.

In the progress of his weight lifting Bruce would practice things like squats, push ups, reverse curls, concentration curls, reverse wrist curls, wrist curls and French presses. He would regularly focus on fast twitch and slow twitch muscle movement. Interestingly, in the beginning Bruce believed that bigger muscles were stronger muscles, but later on, towards Bruce Lee’s death, he came to believe that this wasn’t so.

He was a true believer of the highest order when it came to doing abdominal exercises. He worked the abs every work out, but he also did them at odd times through the day and into the night. He believed in sit Roman Chair exercises, ups, crunches, V ups and leg raises.

Another favorite exercise with Bruce was running and cycling. He would regularly run two to five miles, usually in fifteen to forty-five minutes. He would also ride a standing bike for 45 minutes, usually putting in 10 miles.

Some of Bruce Lee’s secondary exercises were totally beyond belief. He loved jump roping, and after doing the stationary bike he would do as many as 800 jumps. He also loved to thrust his bare mitts into buckets of sand, and he would do as many as 500 repetitions of this ancient toughening drill.

In conclusion, one should be careful when trying to do a work out such as described here. Remember that even Bruce Lee worked up to a level, he didn’t just blast it and put his body at risk. Once you have worked up to a high level of the Bruce Lee Workout Routine, however, you should be capable of superhuman feats, too.

Would you like a strong punch like <a href=”http://www.monstermartialarts.com/The_Punch%21.html”>Bruce Lee</a> had? Head over to <a href=”http://www.monstermartialarts.com/The_Punch%21.html”>The Punch</a> at Monster Martial Arts.

Food and oil prices have been on the rise in many parts of the world. Has the economic climate affected you?

Martial Arts Action Hero Jackie Chan!

Ha! I laugh in the face of economy!
The world is my oyster, and I crack it open the cheap way.
Mush for breakfast, ten cents.
Vegetables and hamburger patty for punch, cheap.
More vegetables, or maybe chili or some cheap but tasty put together. Dinner has to last all night, you know.
And, I work out. Martial Arts.
My food bill is maybe $20 a week, my fun bill is non existent, because my fun consists of using my body, disciplining my mind, and practicing the martial arts so that I can struggle through the coming food riots, the starvation and the hordes of zombies!
Ha! The world should live like me. Fun.
Check out Monster Martial Arts, have some fun, and get ready!

That Martial Arts Moment in Which You Cure the World

Zen Martial Arts!

We’re gonna cure the world with Martial Arts. Most people would say, ‘yeah, right, in a pig’s eye!’ But the truth of the matter is that there is a moment in which you can solve the world’s ills, fix your friends, and generally just right all the wrongs you can think of. That moment happens in Martial Arts at various times. It usually happens at the end of the work out.
Now, let me go somewhere else for a moment, and then come back to this. I guarantee, it’ll be more understandable if I do it this way.
In Yoga, at the end of the work out, you just lie there, maybe listen to some soft music, and you find your mind drifting, and you’re not even there. Sometimes it’s like you’re not even in your body. That is the moment you want to cure things.
You see, in the discipline, be it yoga or martial arts, you exhaust things, you purify, and when everything is done, when the poisons are on the way out, you are granted a moment of clarity, and in that moment your thoughts can change the world.
This is the secret of all religions, all disciplines, because it is the secret of the human being: good thoughts cure things.
If I want to fix my body, say I’ve got a bad shoulder, at the end of work out I look inside my bad shoulder, then look inside my good shoulder, and go back and forth, and share the good condition of my good shoulder with the bad shoulder. The bad shoulder wants to be good, is searching for a way to be good, and with your thoughts, it is shown the right structure, and so it adheres. You would be shocked at how many body problems I fix with this simple method.
And, it works outside your body, too.
You see, at the end of a work out, you think about the problems of the world, that’s all, lose yourself in them, and you will find that they right. Your thought, cleansed of poison, is always right, and the world wants to adhere to the correct structure that you offer. And your thoughts are that powerful.
Your thoughts go around the world, into the universe, touch all men, and fix everything, if you can get rid of the poison within and just let yourself spiritually roam.
Now, martial arts is especially good for this, because martial arts deals with conflict. If you have learned how to resolve conflict in the base of your thoughts, and then you let those thought wander, the world gets fixed.
The problem of course, is that in the present state of the world, with so many raging type thoughts, it is sometimes difficult. A guy who really knows the martial arts, (or some other discipline) and who is doing this, is still fighting against literally millions of people with mad thoughts.
But, it can be done. Simply get more people to do the martial arts, make sure that the martial arts they do are spiritually resolving, that they create peace, and don’t jack you up.
And do tham to the point wherein you lose yourself, as if reading a good book, in the action and violence.
Purge yourself by work out. That is the way.
Check out my site, Monster Martial Arts, if you want to find the true art that will do what I have described here.

Finding the Real and Ultimate Truth of the Martial Arts through Working Out!

Martial Arts Work Out!

Here’s some things about working out.
Where do you work out?
I’ve worked out (taught)
in alleys filled with debris,
basements littered with broken furniture,
rooftops with pipes and wires running everywhere,
rooms with only the space to stand in,
warehouses with dark rows of boxes,
on a fence,
on a tire,
in a tree,
in a cage (old LA zoo),
and on and on and on.
And,
I’ve worked out in the ocean,
in rivers,
in the desert,
in snow,
on hillsides,
and on and on.

Every time I worked out
I learned something unique about my environment
and how to fight in it.
How do I set the feet so I don’t slip,
how do I turn the stance for best launch,
what types of stances work best for what situation,
how do I lift my feet so as not to trip.
And on and on.

I remember reading Carlos Castaneda
and he spoke of how to run in the desert at night.
Lift the knees high,
and I could feel my radar working
as I gave myself up
to trust my world.
Scary,
invigorating,
how could I apply this to martial arts?

When you think about it,
it makes sense
to try all these places,
because you don’t know what kind of terrain
you will be attacked on.

I was in the army,
sitting on a bunk naked,
and some guy wanted to fight,
and fight me right then,
before I could get dressed.
What a unique learning experience.
I didn’t let it happen,
but to this day,
I think about it,
and what would I do…
home invaders while I’m in the shower,
I jump out,
dripping wet,
slipping on the tiles,
searching for a weapon.

Martial means war,
and so many techniques come from war,
rolling in the mud,
the freezing snow,
in the darkness,
trying to stab
before you are stabbed.

So many techniques are altered by armor,
what techniques do we do that are useless now
but were worth something
when men wore armor?
And what techniques would be good for a fellow in kevlar?

You can see the potentials here.

Can you fight
in any terrain
any clothing
any weather…
of course you can,
if you have to.
But it’s best to seek out those odd environments
when you don’t have to.
Do your learning
before the fit hits the shan.

My favorite years of training were in the dojo,
I simply loved the camaraderie.
I loved sampling the different shapes and sizes
of my opponents
and learning what worked when and for whom.

Those lessons learned,
I expanded on them as you see in this newsletter.
And here’s something to think about…
if all the martial arts came from one technique,
what would that technique be?

When you travel back
through the influences of war
and environment and living conditions
when you think through your martial art
and find the core concept that grew it,
what core concept is there,
what one single technique was there
that made it all work,
that grew the whole thing?

This is a fair question,
and an important question.
Answer it,
and you have plumbed to the depths of your art.

In Aikido,
what technique do you think
turned it all on
for Morihei Ueshiba?

In Karate,
what move tweaked Funakoshi’s mind
and opened it up so he could really learn.
And by learn
I mean create
and absorb and synthesize and….

In tai chi,
in Mantis,
in drunken…
what single technique unlocked those doors,
beckoned the student in,
changed the world.

It is a simplicity that lies beneath all arts,
and even beneath the combination of all arts.

If you come up with one,
let me know.

And,
if you come up with one,
don’t let me be the devil here,
but,
do you think it will be the same one
that your fellow student would have come up with?

That all said,
I want to thank all for the help you gave me
after last weeks newsletter.
If you didn’t take advantage of that offer
in last weeks newsletter,
find it,
use it.
If you can’t use it now,
save it,
use it when I least expect it,
just remind me of it when you do use it.

Help is always appreciated.
The Monster says thanks.

Now,
to continue what we were talking about,
to find the truth of your art,
you must matrix.
Matrixing explores the terrain of your mind.
Matrixing explores all the arts,
all the moves,
and puts them in order.
This puts order into your mind,
and the computer up there
really works.
Works better than you ever would have thought.

Here’s the world famous URL…

http://www.monstermartialarts.com

Go there,
find the art that inflames you,
get it,
and seek the peace of yourself.
It’s there
inside you,
if you just turn the key (work out)
open the door (work out some more)
and walk in (work out even more)

So,
you guys have a day special beyond compare,
and I’ll talk to you later.

Al

The weak can overcome the strong and the yielding can overcome the hard.
This all the world knows but does not practice.
~ Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

Martial Art Work Out in the Snow

Would Chuck Norris Use Gloves?

Martial Art Work Outs in different environments is a kick.
I used to read the accounts of Karate classes held in the snow, martial arts meditation under waterfalls, and all that sort of thing.
Now there wasn’t a waterfall near where I lived, and it snowed once every twenty years, so I figured I would have to wait to experience those things. Then, one year, it snowed!
Man, I was like shot. I was in the car and up in the hills in ten minutes. Unfortunately, so was the rest of California.
Oh, well.
So I was wearing gi bottoms, and I took off my shoes and socks, and began doing my karate forms in the snow.
Man, it was a kick.
But I figured I was going to have to figure out some esoteric, weird thing to do with my mind.
In actuality, all I had to do was get the blood pumping and keep it pumping. So I pumped and sweated, and all these mothers bundled their children up and took them away from my area.
And, the worst thing was I had broken a toe a few years previous, and I felt the break. Man, it was an irritant. Made my foot feet fragile, when it wasn’t.
Other than that, the main thing was to keep the enthusiasm up.
You see, it is easy to sweat, but after you see that there really isn’t much of a challenge, you run into the challenge, how do you keep your excitement high enough to keep working out. You have to maintain a level of excitement, you see, and that’s where the exercise becomes more than body, and a mind thing.
In the end, it was valuable, showed me some things about myself, and I recommend it. In fact, I recommend doing this type of martial arts training often. It’s different, it pumps you up, it’s invigorating, and it’s fun.
Of course all martial art work outs are fun, but this is just a little extra fun, and good for you.
Pick up a free ebook at Monster Martial Arts. That’s right, free!