Tag Archives: mma

Boxing, Mixed Martial Arts, and Reality

Is there a Disconnect in Boxing and Mixed Martial Arts?

Boxing and Mixed Martial Arts? A disconnect? Something tells me I should stop right now, before people get mad at me.

Click on the cover to find the source of the martial arts...

Click on the cover to find the source of the martial arts…

Except, there might actually be something in the question.

When you box, or perform Mixed Martial Arts, you wear gloves. You don’t wear such gloves on the street.

When you do the ‘Sweet Science,’ or battle in the Octagon, there are ‘fences,’ which means a cage, or ropes, to enclose the fight. There are no such barriers in real life.

When you are down, there is a referred to save you. No ref on the streets, bro.

When you fight in a public venue, such as i have mentioned here, the rounds end and you have a chance to recoup in your corner. No end of round, no corner, no recoup on the street.

I know, this is all unfair, I’m picking on your favorite gladiatorial sports.

Except, I’m not.

Look, I’m not saying these things are bad, I’m just saying they are.

The real disconnect is when you train for things that are, and they might not be. If that makes sense.

The real disconnect, when you study boxing or the Mixed Martial Arts, is merely the ability to break away from your training when you have to.

Training is to enhance the martial artist, it is not to imprison him.

So don’t object to what I say, just consider it, and come up with plans for times when you have to defend yourself and you are not in the ring, in the Octagon, doing Mixed Martial Arts or Boxing.

If you want a real slice of reality, check out ‘Binary Matrixing in the Martial Arts.’

And, if you want real training for reality, check out ‘Blinding Steel.’

Al Case has been studying martial arts for 50 years.

The Trouble with Rhonda Rousey

Rhonda Rousey on the Ellen Show!

I have always enjoyed watching Rhonda Rousey. Her string of wins left me arm pumping the sky.

But I didn’t always enjoy her sportsmanship. I was put off when she would just glare at her opponents, reuse to bump gloves, and otherwise treated them in a manner most shabby.

Mind you, some trash talk is good. Some trash talk is nothing more than showmanship, brings in the customers. But Rhonda’s trash talk, her general attitude, was not.

The other day Rhonda went on the Ellen Show, and there proceeded to emotionalize in a terrible manner.

Yes, feeling bad over a loss is understandable. But threatening suicide?

And this unpleasant show of emotion had me considering her fight with Holly Holm once again.

Rhonda walked into punches, which, on the Ellen Show, she claimed had her feeling like she wasn’t there. And behind this tirade was the feeling that Rhonda felt it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that she got hit. It wasn’t fair that she didn’t feel good after being hit.

And, to top it off, she made a statement to the effect of: ‘I’m not making excuses.’

But she was! Everything she was saying was an excuse, and a display of emotionalism and bad sportsmanship.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Rhonda, I am anticipating her next fight. I want to see a comeback.

But I want to see a comeback with maturity, with a new attitude, with the idea that all fighters deserve respect.

If Rhonda does that, then perhaps she will deserve to win again.

Check out Blinding Steel!

Black Belt in Karate, Black Sash in Tai Chi Chuan

Newsletter 798
The Importance of a Black Belt in the Martial Arts

Good afternoon!
Absolutely stunning day.
Absolutely perfect for a work out.

Hey,
I had somebody ask me,
the other day,
what belt I was.
It’s a legitimate question.

I received my black belt in 1974.
It was in a classical karate system,
the Kang Duk Won.

And,
a few years ago,
a bunch of my black belts decided
I should be an 8th black belt.
I had some forty years training at the time.
But it was sort of interesting.
we had a wall,
and everybody who made black belt
got a plaque on the wall.
We had a dozen or so plaques,
and somebody noticed there wasn’t one for me.
So they got together and got an 8th black plaque for me.

The funny thing is I didn’t notice it
for quite some time.

Here’s the deal.
I’m proud of my black belt.
But,
shortly after I received my belt,
I lost all interest in belts
and promotions
and such.
(Though I did appreciate
what my black belts did)

Simply,
I became addicted to the information,
the the art,
to the development of myself in a spiritual sense.
But that’s me.
For those who have just begun,
you should be very concerned
with earning a legitimate black belt.

A legitimate black belt carries with it
the realization,
the knowledge,
that you have just begun to learn.
If you earned a black belt,
and you didn’t get that thought,
then there is a good chance that you aren’t legitimate.
You haven’t CBMed,
made the art into yourself,
inverted your viewpoint of the world,
haven’t understood that reality is the illusion,
and yourself is the projector.

Now,
the real point of the martial arts is this:
Does it work.

First,
does it work as self defense.
Can you defend yourself?

Second,
does it make you grow spiritually?
Do you understand your worth as an ‘I am,’
do you see yourself as a point of awareness,
do you understand how your thoughts control the universe?

I suppose,
analyzing my own preferences,
that is why I prefer Karate first,
and Tai Chi second.

Karate works.
It makes my bones hard,
puts snap in my muscles,
and gives me long life.

Tai Chi works also.
It makes me sensitive,
removes me from illusion,
and gives me long life.

And,
interestingly,
Tai Chi,
learned effectively,
is one of the most incredible
self defense styled martial arts
I have ever experienced.

And,
they provide me with a ‘hard and soft’ progression of art.
After you do a bit of matrixing,
you can see how karate can become tai chi.
And how tai chi enhances Karate.

All very interesting.

If you are experienced with the hard,
I recommend the soft.
If you are experienced with the soft,
I recommend the hard.

It’s the only way to be sure
that you really understand
all aspects of the martial arts.

The trick,
of course,
is to make sure you matrix BOTH martial arts.

Here are the Matrix links.

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-karate/

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/2ba-matrix-tai-chi-chuan/

Have a great work out!
Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-karate/

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/2ba-matrix-tai-chi-chuan/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Find the Zen of Karate…and the Zen of You

Karate, and Who You Were Before You Were Born

It’s hot here in LA,
and you can really sweat those toxins out.
The best way to sweat?
Work out!

I was driving down the street the other day,
and I saw all sorts of martial arts studios.
MMA, Muay Thai, Boxing,
Karate, Kung fu, Kenpo,
Judo, Aikido, Taekwondo,
and on and on and on.

When I began,
in 1967,
which is near 50 years ago,
there was judo,
which was taught in a few places,
and there was Karate.
Interestingly,
Karate was undergoing a boom.
This was just before Bruce Lee,
and the Tracy Brothers had breathed fire into marketing,
and Karate schools were opening every where.

I began Kenpo,
went every day,
became an instructor,
and so on,
and I had a lot of questions,
and nowhere to get the answers.
The only magazine was Black Belt,
and they sort of circled the arts,
talking about,
but never delving in.

And there weren’t many books.
There was the outlandish Super Karate Made Easy,
Ed Parker had a book out,
Robert Smith wrote his book on
Shaolin Temple boxing.
But these books were either techniques books,
or they talked in mysteries,
and there was no way to understand what the heck
the martial arts were all about.

Then I came across a book called
Zen Flesh, Zen Bones.
I had left kenpo by then,
and was in the Kang Duk Won,
and this book was a Godsend.

Not a book about technique,
not a dissertation of mental tricks,
rather questions and tales
that made you blink,
and look for the real you.

One of my favorites was the old question,
‘Who were you before you were born.’

Now you might be wondering,
how can an art built of physical routines
answer that question?

The answer to that wonderment
lies in the simple fact
that we were not distracted.
Karate was not infected by boxing,
throws weren’t an active part.
And so on.

On the surface,
looking back,
reading these words as I write them,
I can understand
why people might wonder,
how can you call that an art?
How can you think of that stripped down sapling
as a wondrous forest of spirit?

Easy.
We weren’t distracted,
and we practiced those few techniques we knew
until we could make them work.

Enlightenment is when you do one thing
without distraction,
until you see the truth of that one thing.

You have heard people like Bruce Lee say,
in the end,
a punch is just a punch,
a kick is just a kick.

But,
here’s the bad news,
if you haven’t found that out
through doing a simple kick,
or punch,
without distraction,
for tens of thousands of times,
then the truth of the statement evades you.

You know about water,
but you’ve never been wet.

That is why,
except for a few logical changes,
and the nudging of matrixing,
the karate I do now,
is virtually the same
as the karate I did way back when.

Pinan one through pinan five,
the iron horse,
a few others,
I do them almost the same as I learned them.
And,
here’s the interesting thing,
the way I learned them was only a couple of generations
removed from the way they were taught before Funakoshi.

I go into modern schools
and I don’t see what I learned.
I see forms infected by boxing,
distracted by MMA,
slanted by tournaments and kick boxing.
I see techniques discarded because people can’t make them work.
I see people fighting,
instead of painstakingly being taught the drills that lead to…not fighting,
to scientifically assessing an opponent and shredding him without waste.

Most of all,
I don’t see the calm of mind,
the calm that comes not from knowing about lots of arts,
but from knowing one thing well.
And, in these modern times,
if people do know one thing well,
it has been slanted by ‘reality fighting,’
by the desire to beat up your fellow man,
not to calm yourself,
and find the truth of yourself.

Not to find out who you were before you were born.

Here’s the art that I was taught,
unchanged except for a few logical tweaks,
and the ‘de-slanting’ of matrixing.

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

Hope you enjoy getting back to the ‘zen’ of it all.

Have a great work out!
Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Myth and Mysticism in the Martial Arts!

Myth Versus Mysticism in the Martial Arts

Do you study Karate? Or kung fu or kenpo or Taekwondo? Or even Mixed Martial Arts? Then let me ask you a question.

Would you turn in your car for a horse and buggy?

Click on the cover to find the source of the martial arts...

Click on the cover to find the source of the martial arts…

Why not? After all, the horse and buggy is the old standard. Will never blow a fuse. You’ll get a thousand gallops before the old girl keels over. So why not?

Okay, so let’s rephrase that…would you give up your horse and buggy for a car?

Sort of a silly question, isn’t it?

So let’s talk martial arts.

Your kung fu or Kenpo, your Karate or Jujitsu, those are horse and buggy. They are routines based on mysticism. They are born of legends which cannot be proved.

Mind you, they were great in their day, but why not put them aside for something a little more scientific?

Here’s the thing, people are taught monkey see monkey do. They learn methods based on the movements of the tiger, or some old nun, or some cosmogony that may or may not bear much resemblance to reality.

They are not taught scientifically.

Yes, the arts work, but here’s the question…do you want to ride a horse across the US? Or take a car?

Heck, the car is going to be ten times faster, easier on the bones, and fun.

The horse might be…fun.

The car is built scientifically.

The horse is a miracle of evolution…but it is not a scientifically designed mode of transportation. It is slow, requires constant feeding, and leaves noxious waste.

The car is…fast.

So what do you want to do? Keep going with the old mystical mystic stuff?

Or learn ten times faster?

Interesting choice, eh?

If you want to understand something, not just do it blindly, then you need Matrixing. And you can find matrixed martial arts at MonsterMartialArts.com.

The Release of Binary Matrixing in the Martial Arts

Binary Matrixing in the Martial Arts

Good afternoon!
And Yeehaw!
The new book is here!

Binary Matrixing in the Martial Arts!

The URL is…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/5a-binary-matrixing-in-the-martial-arts/

monkey kung fuThe main purpose of the book
is to establish the martial arts as a science. To do this,
I offer a basic truth of this universe,
and compare it to the yin yang.
Thus,
myth becomes science.
Mysticism becomes science.
And all of matrixing is thus proven as a science.

Now,
I‘ll tell you more later,
In a day or two I’ll write about the structure of the martial arts,
tell you all sorts of things,
but for right now,
head over to this page

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/5a-binary-matrixing-in-the-martial-arts/

and check it out.
You want to be enlightened?
Get to the truth of the martial arts?
Understand how the martial arts were grown?
Get the cornerstone of all matrixing?
It’s all in
Binary Matrixing in the Martial Arts.

This offer will only be up for a week,
then I will probably have the paperback book out,
and be putting the thing on Kindle.
Kindle won’t allow me to sell my own book
in competition with them.
So this is more than likely a one week shot,
take advantage now.

Have a great work out!
Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/5a-binary-matrixing-in-the-martial-arts/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

A Martial Art Disappears!

Okay,
let’s talk about that great fount of info,
youtube.

I like youtube,
it tells you about lots of arts.
Unfortunately,
it doesn’t teach.
It shows,
but there is no instruction.
This is okay
if you have lots of experience,
but if you don’t
then you are getting,
at best,
what the amateurs think,
at worst,
wrong ideas,
if any ideas at all.

kick boxing training manual

martial arts introduction

Neutronics,
the most powerful information int he history of the martial arts

I always remember something I read,
so many years ago.
If you want to get excited,
read a headline,
if you want to get educated,
read a book.
Or,
in keeping with this theme,
do a book/video course.

I think the original concept was,
excitable and slanted info from a newspaper,
not much info at all.
A better rounded picture,
but the data is only the surface variety,
not in depth.
Read a book,
get the whole picture.

Interesting,
eh?
Especially in light of this age of information
we are entering.

And,
of course,
(grin)
the best source of martial arts info on the planet
is Monster Martial Arts.
Of course.

And,
I should tell you at this point,
that Blinding Steel is coming down.
I’m taking it off the website.
Don’t know for how long,
maybe for good,
maybe for a while,
but,
if you want the price it is offered at now,
get it quick.

Blinding Steel is my heart,
Monkey Boxing,
it’s goot ALL sorts of data
about who to get faster,
a logical method for weapons,
disarming,
transitioning to throws,
and so on.
Very potent stuff.
I always recommend you get Matrix Karate,
and the Master Instructor Course,
because that is the heart of the matrixing method.
But the end result of the matrixing method
is Blinding Steel.

So pick it up quick,
it won’t be back,
at least not at this price.

The good news,
I’m putting it together with an intro course
that I am referring to as Binary Martial Arts.
I undercut even Matrixing,
I get down to why the martial arts are a fantasy,
for that matter,
why you are a fantasy,
and I tell the truth about the martial arts,
how to make them not a fantasy,
how to make a real art evolve,
which makes yourself evolve.

More on that later.
Probably a week or two before I have that all polished up.
I have it written,
and it is a whammed slammer.
In fact,
it is so powerful,
and it made me realize something:
this stuff that I am doing,
this matrixing and neutronics,
is more powerful than
The Tao (Lao Tsu)
or even zen.

When people look back at this era,
at what happened to the martial arts
at the dawn of the information age,
they will point to Matrixing and Neutronics,
as the single most potent occurrence,
in the history of the martial arts.
I’m not bragging,
it is just is the value of information.
It is the the fat of mysticism
becoming a science,
a logic,
an actual technology.

When you think about it,
The Tao (for instance)
was exiting the stone age,
it was concepts being written down and passed on.
But the concepts weren’t ordered
or even understood.
Matrixing changes that.
Matrixing is the transition from mysticism
into definable knowledge.

Okay,
I’ve talked long enough.
Remember,
Blinding Steel,
last chance to get it,
right here…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/3a-blinding-steel-matrixing-weapons/

Have a great work out!
Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/3a-blinding-steel-matrixing-weapons/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

To Understand the Martial Arts

Newsletter 763
To Understand the Martial Arts

Happy June!
Perfect month for working out!
All you guys and gals out for the summer,
have you set your goal?
Do you know what martial art
you want to learn this summer?

master yoga

hard martial arts workout

This guy understood Zen!

Okay,
there was a question I read
on a forum the other day,
the question was
what martial arts book is the best?
Interesting question.
What was more interesting
was that people didn’t understand it.

There were a few answers,
no matrixing books,
unfortunately,
but that will eventually happen.

The Book of Five Rings was there.
Moving Zen was there,
but that was as close as they got.
And at the bottom of the scroll was the most amazing comment.
‘I don’t underestand.’

That was it.
I don’t understand,
and therein lies the problem of mankind.

When I don’t understand something,
I usually go out and find some written material,
find out what it is about.
So here is a guy who studies martial arts,
doesn’t understand.
So he doesn’t read books,
doesn’t know the relationship of zen and Tao and all that,
to the martial arts.
Really doesn’t understand
that an art is the manifestation of spirit.
He just goes along,
day after day,
monkey see monkey do.

What is the value of his life?

Does he just drink beer and think the stars are cool?
Does he even know where he is going?
For that matter,
does he even know that he is?
What is the point of his life?

Without understanding,
what is the point of anything?
Might just as well be a monkey,
swinging from tree to tree.

I remember reading ‘Zen Flesh, Zen Bones,’
and being so totally away,
lightening in the skies,
you know?

And when I read these books,
I somehow tapped into more resources.
I had more energy.
I had the idea
that if i could master myself,
if I could control myself,
I could find out the truth.

And here’s a guy,
might even be a black belt,
for all I know,
and he doesn’t understand.

Mind you,
there’s nothing wrong with not understanding,
but there is something wrong,
if he doesn’t want to solve it,
doesn’t want to find understanding.

No understanding and you are pavlov’s dog,
drooling on command,
buying what the advertisers want you to buy,
accepting what the government says,
never objecting,
just nodding and…and drooling.

Ah, well.
I’m probably preaching to the choir here.
If you guys ordered any matrix courses,
then you wanted to understand the martial arts.

Of course,
the real shame of it,
is when some guy thinks he understands,
thinks he knows what I’m saying,
and hasn’t done a matrix course.
Then he’s just delusional.

So,
not sure where to go with this rant,
I was just so blown away,
hate to give anybody a bummer,
but the real solution,
is to find out.
To get a little light in your skull,
to read,
to work out and figure out
the relationship between reading and working out.
To find understanding
for what it is you are really doing in the martial arts.

To find the mystery of Chi
to cement your understanding of history
to collect ‘volumes’ of forms and styles,
to be quite and incisive in your thinking.

And that’s all pretty easy if you matrix.

Have you taken a look at:
Matrixing: the Master Text?

You should.
It has all the data on matrixing.
It has matrixes I for the various arts,
taken from the various courses.
It shows you the complete geography of the MartialArts,
and how I figured it out.

One thing is sure,
if you read
Matrixing: The Master Text,
you will understand.

You will understand the martial arts
better than all the people
who have not matrixed.

Makes you the great master,
you know?

Here’s the link…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/2f-matrixing-the-master-text/

Have a great June work out!

Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/2f-matrixing-the-master-text/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Don’t Break ANY of these Martial Arts Laws!

A Martial Arts Lesson for Lawbreakers!

Good evening!
Gonna be a GREAT weekend!
Cause you’re gonna have a GREAT work out!

Got an announcement coming up,
but before we get into that,
let’s have a hoot or two.

master yoga

tekki one

Kima Chasie ~ Horse Meditation

Did you know that in Foxboro, MA
no martial artist can practice if his shoes are untied.
Got to be true, eh?
I sort of remember that Karate guys work out in bare feet,
but,
maybe they mean all the other martial arts guys/

And,
in Sutherland, Iowa
it is strictly forbidden
to kick the hat off somebody’s head
using martial arts.
I guess if you can kick a hat off
and you don’t know martial arts,
it’s okay.
I mean,
I don’t know for sure,
some of these furshlugginer martial arts laws
are tuff to figger out!

And,
in Casper, Wyoming,
martial arts experts may not wear goatees,
they are illegal
unless one has the appropriate and special permit.
Now that is experts,
which would be black belts,
so i suppose one could have a goatee
until they reached black belt,
then they would have to shave that sucker off.

Now,
to be honest,
I am a wee bit unsure of the veracity of these legislations.
Although,
again to be honest,
anything is possible in Obama’s America.

That said,
I will assume that these laws are true,
until somebody from
Foboro, Sutherland, or Casper,
writes to me and tells me otherwise.
And,
it gos without saying,
I will be extra careful if I am ever caught in those towns.
If I am not caught,
I probably won’t be careful.
You know how that is.

So,
I have a special release coming.
It’s actually going to be a re-release,
but,
it is the introduction to that release
that is going to be the most interesting.
Here is the title of the book
that is being prepared
for that special release.

The Truth About Matrixing
(The First and Only Science of the Martial Arts)

or

How to Grow a Martial Art from the Ground Up

or

The Scientific Way to Enlightenment in the Martial Arts.

Quite a title, eh?
But I’m pretty serious about it.
But here’s the thing,
there’s too many people
who just pass on by,
who look at the website,
think I’m a scam,
aren’t willing to learn anything
outside of their small world.

So I am going to poke my finger in their eye.
I’m going to tell the truth about Matrixing,
I’m going to enlighten people,
show them how matrixing really works,
and let the cards fall where they may.

When you think about it,
it’s not right.

People go to school,
they learn things,
and most of what they learn is bushwah.
Lies.
So,
here comes the truth,
and we’ll see what happens.

Anyway,
I’ll tell you more about it
in the next newsletter or two.
And I’ll arrange that you get a chance
to get this once in a lifetime freebie.

Cruel.
All these people who have been saying no,
get it for free.
But you,
who believe,
are going to have to do something for it.
But that’s okay.
It’s a good cause.
A matrixed world,
a world full of matrixed martial arts,
is definitely worth doing something extra.

Okay ka-dokay!
That’s all I’m going to say.
I’m still working on it,
very intense,
but we’ll get there.

In the meantime,
I meant what i said
at the beginning of this newsletter.
you really are going to have a GREAT weekend.
And you really are going to have a GREAT work out!

So go for it,
and I’ll keep you updated on this release,
as it gets closer,
and closer.

Al

PS
Here’s a link for you!

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/five-army-tai-chi-chuan/

Check it out, watch the video,
and know that it is all simple and logical
if you just matrix.

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Merry Xmas Monster Martial Arts Stye!

 A Martial Arts Xmas to You!

Good morning!
It’s almost Xmas!
Almost time to sneak down
and open the presents the night before!
Find that set of throwing stars, 
or shiny, new sword,
or other implement for keeping world peace.
Heh.
And,
speaking of the night before,
it is time for my yearly rendering of
The Night Before Xmas!
Monster Martial Arts Style,
of course.

christmas martial arts

HanaKwanMass to Freedom Fighters the World Over!

But,
before I offend everybody,
let me remind you,
I have two specials going on.

One,
Rolling Fists is half price,
because I have a bunch of labels
that faded.
Email me for details.

Two,
the HanaKwanMass two for one special!
That’s right,
get any course,
and email me afterward
for any other course
of equal or lesser value!

AND…
speaking of HanaKwanMass,
it stands for Hanukah/Kwanza/Xmas,
it is my attempt to offend
EVERY politically correct person I can.
Simply,
if somebody who is purple,
believes different than you,
is from faroutistan,
wishes you a happy whatever holiday,
TAKE IT AND LOVE IT!
And wish them well back!

Okay,
enough bushwah,
let’s get down to the one poem
that I do year after year,
which offends anybody with sensibility
but is a hoot to a martial artist…

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Twas the night before Christmas
I was in my shack
primed and ready
for the red fat attack.

my weapons were loaded
the windows were barred
all would be safe
while I was on guard

The chimney was decked
with concertina wire
I crouched by the couch
ready to fire.

I had an M60
with ammo to feed
I didn’t care
if the red fat did bleed.

A loaded shotgun
and grenades to spare
when red fat came down
I’d blow him out of there.

Throwing stars and knives
and a really long sword
and if that didn’t work
I knew a bad word.

Sitting there late
my eyes started to close
when suddenly I heard
a bunch of ho hos.

Off with the lights
safety off, too
I  watched the fire close
and heard a sound from the flu.

‘Ouch and gosh darn it
who put the wire here
those are my undies
starting to tear!’

Then a shower of soot
and a grunt and a groan
he landed in the fire
and gave out a moan.

He was rubbing the place
where the wire did tear
so I held down the trigger
and lead filled the air.

belt after belt
did I deal the red fat
he danced and he jumped
I knew he felt that!

then quicker than spit
I ran out of lead
but enough was enough
he had to be dead.

Boy was I shocked
to see him stand tall
stepping out of the fireplace
not bothered at all.

So I grabbed up the 16
to mow him down
he had to be hurting
cause I saw his big frown.

Then I was empty
and he came straight for me
I pulled out my knives
and sliced him with glee

He jumped to the side
moving real quick
disarmed my knives
with a well placed kick

then he dropped the big bag
he had on his shoulder
reached forth his arms
and his anger did smolder

He grabbed hard my neck
and held me up high
I tried kicks and punches
but I was like a fly

Not karate nor judo
no art did work
and he grinned a mean grin
and called me a jerk

‘Don’t you know
you stupid little man
Christmas is forever
in spite of your plan.’

Then he threw me aside
and proceeded to work
giving presents to all
and to me a great smirk

And when he left
the great big red fat
he left me a lump of coal
the big red fat rat!

HANAKWANMASS TO ALL

and to all a great work out.

Al

BTW ~ If you want to spread the HanKwanMass spirit, feel free to share, hit the FB button, email to a friend, or whatever.

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