The Burgler and the Black Belt

Newsletter 904

Black Belt Becomes a Burgler!

Supposed to be a true story,
got it off the internet,
so it’s got to be true,
right?

A black belt was coming home from class.
Just up the street from his house he saw a fellow struggling with a TV set.
Being a black belt,
polite and helpful,
he walked up to the fellow and asked if he could help.
‘Sure,’ says the guy.
So the black belt helped the fellow load the TV set
in the back of a van.
It was then that he noticed that the TV set
was from his own house!
That’s right,
his house had been burgled,
and he had,
in effect,
helped ‘steal his own TV set.’

When I first heard this story,
I wondered:
when the police came to arrest the burgler,
did they arrest the black belt?
After all,
he helped steal a TV,
he was an accomplice.
Right?

So don’t forget to drop by
http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-kung-fu/
40 martial arts takedowns,
and how to use them in freestyle!

AND,
it’s almost HanaKwanMass.
I think,
instead of Santa coming down the chimney,
we should have zombies coming down the chimney.
Wouldn’t being able to use your martial arts to destroy a horde of zombies
be the best HanaKwanMass present ever?

Have a great work out!
Al

Chess…and the Perfect Martial Arts: A Case History

Is it Possible to have Perfect Martial Arts?

I recently wrote on article on ‘Beyond Western Muscles and the Martial Arts,’ and in that article I mentioned an idea I had come across many years ago: that in a perfect chess game white will win for the simple reason that it moved first.

This has obvious implications in the martial arts. Two combatants edging towards each other, the perfect gunfight, searching for that threshold of distance wherein they can strike first and without getting struck.

Some people didn’t agree with this. I thought it a simple matter of extrapolating Einstein’s theory of relativity, and the resulting corollaries in subatomic physics, but, alas, I guess I was not…the first to move.

Then I had an interesting email wherein the fellow said that if two tai chi masters fight, the one who moves first will always lose.

Lord! Now I didn’t know what to think!

Except (aha!), if one understands that the perfect state of consciousness (awareness) is to consider oneself the center of the universe, and that everything revolves around oneself, and that there is no proof that anything (or entity) exists, except as is created by the being at the center of the universe.

This theory holds up to the concept that at the center of all motion is motionlessness. This theory finally achieves the concept of perfection in the martial arts, and in the whole universe!

In this realm thought ceases to be motion, and becomes the ultimate no motion.

Which brings us to the grand conclusion.

If one doesn’t move first, then one will win. This fulfills the highest goals of the the martial arts, defines the highest attributes of an individual, and results in the cessation of all wars for an everlasting reign of peace on earth.

After, of course, one puts a big juicy, raw steak on his eyeball.

If you want perfection in your fighting abilities you have to matrix your martial arts. Go to Monster Martial Arts and find out what Matrixing is.

If you like martial arts humor you should check out the Case Histories column at Monster Martial Arts.