Bruce Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan Decide Who is the Best Martial Artist!

Bruce Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan fight to the Finish!

What many people don’t know is that Bruce Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan got together to decide who was the best martial artist of all time.

You think I’m gonna get fat, my friend?

I know, you think this is a crock, that Bruce Lee is dead, so this couldn’t happen.

But the truth is that Bruce Lee is actually alive, his death was faked, and he has been living in a government compound with other people who have gone into hiding. This compound houses such entities as Judge Crater, Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis, Jim Morrison, Marylyn Monroe, and so on.

You know, people who have become so big, so iconic, that they pose a threat to the government.

So just last month, because of concerns raised in an article written by Al Case in his FreeMartialArts website, ‘Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li: Who is the Best Martial Artist?’ Bruce, Jet and Jackie came together to decide, with fists, who was the best Kung Fu fighter.

Mind you, the fact that they were so willing to come together in the first place proves that these three legends have thought about this on their own.

To be honest, they respect each other, this was obvious to this writer, who was the only invited spectator, but they also have a bit of disdain for each other. After all, they have all seen each others movies, and they all have their legion of fans calling them the best, all of which stokes their personal ego

Jet Li arrived first at the Chinatown warehouse selected for this one of a kind Martial Arts tournament. He sauntered in, swathed in sunglasses and a fancy, white scarf. Every inch the movie star, the youngest of the trio, he puffed on a thin cheroot and had a babe on each arm.

Jackie arrived second. He is the second youngest, or oldest, depending on whether you are half empty or half full, and he hobbled in on a pair of crutches with both of his arms in casts.

With a friendly sneer Jet stood up and helped him to a seat.

“Thanks, Jet,” murmured Jackie. “Did you know I have broken every bone in my body? I’ve got so much arthritis I could bottle it.” He struggled to bend his knees and sat down in a chair, wiping his brow and trying to shrug off the pain.

Then he pulled out a quart bottle of whiskey and drank the whole thing. Canadian Mist, I believe.

Then the grand old man, the Little Dragon himself, Bruce Lee was rolled into the room. His chin overlapped another chin, which overlapped another chin, and it was fortunate that he had his own motorized wheel chair, for he couldn’t get up if he had to.

“Hi guys,” He wheeled to a position facing Jet and Jackie. “Elvis has been cooking for me. He makes these great peanut butter and banana and bacon sandwiches. He slathers them with mayo, first, then slices up cubes of butter, and he makes sure he soaks the white bread with the bacon juice. I tell ya, man, nothing goes to waste with E. Sort of makes up for all those years of drinking that stupid vegetable juice i did.”

He moped the sweat off his forehead.

“Okay, so we gonna fight, or what?” asked Jackie, ending the pleasantries.

“I sorta thought we’d talk about it, first,” said Bruce, reaching for an oxygen mask he kept hanging over the back of the wheelchair.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, old man,” snapped Jet.

“Jet, baby, can we go back to the hotel room?” whined one of the babes on his arms.

And, at this point, this writer must point out that it didn’t look like Jet had his arms out for the girls to hold, rather, it looked like they were holding him up by the arms!

“Are you all right?” this concerned and solicitous writer asked Mr. Li.

“Yeah, man. Just a little tired,” he sagged in the girls’ grip, and this writer knew the cause: Jet had been exhausted by the two girls prior to coming to this meeting!

Jackie responded with, “I think we could do without the physicality if we just counted fans, people who have seen our movies, that sort of thing.

“You’ve got more movies!” protested the Little Dragon.

“You’ve had longer for people to see your movies,” countered Jackie.

Jet laughed. “A communist, and he wants to vote!”

“Hey!” protested Jackie. “No need to insult! you got a better idea?”

“You guys could get wheel chairs and we could have a race,” gasped Bruce, then drawing deeply on his oxygen tank.

This writer, observing that these three men were too old, too out of shape to really fight, said, “Maybe we should forget about a fight. I don’t want anybody to get hurt.”

“Don’t be an idiot!” rasped Bruce.

“You idiot!” shouted Jackie.

“Guy’s not very smart,” opined Jet.

“You stupid,” said Bruce with a look of disgust.

Then they began to really insult your faithful correspondent. They called him a dope, said he sat on his brains, and would flunk as a paperweight.

That he was a bad writer and a lousy martial artist.

That he voted for Barack Obama.

And Bruce said, again, “You stupid.”

Finally, outraged all, these three incredible martial artists, Bruce Lee,Jet Li and Jackie Chan, shoved this writer out of the door.

Jet snapped, “We’ll have our own fight, and you aren’t invited!”

Jackie chimed in with, “We’ll let you know who wins!”

And Bruce merely rolled his head back and forth on his huge and blubber laden frame and said, “You stupid.”

Book four of a five part series on how to Matrix Karate.

Hey! What about me? don’t I count for something?

The two girls who had escorted Jet into the warehouse held my arms, their lithe but momentous frames immobilizing me, and I could not get free to return to the warehouse. I struggled, I sear I struggled, but they must have known jujitsu, or MMA, or something, for they held me firm, and even giggled as they did so.

And there I stood, outside the door to the secret warehouse, chagrined and disappointed. Held in place by pulchritudinous and bodacious females, one of which whispered in my ear “Wanna go to our hotel room? and who I could smell whiskey on her breath, and the other who chewed and snapped gum and looked bored.

Silence stared back at me, and then, suddenly, sounds exploded from the warehouse.

“AIEEE!” Bruce whooped.

The sound of furniture breaking.

“You fat—“ more furniture, sounding like it wasn’t just breaking, but actually exploding.

“Call me a commie you capitalistic warpig!”

“AIEEEE! AIEEEE!”

I swear, in my mind, I could see what was happening. Jet turning a somersault, Bruce rolling his wheel chair into Jackie’s chins, Jackie yelling “Ow!”

Bruce doing a straight blast in between pushing on the wheels of his chair, Jet flipping through the air while doing Tai Chi yang long form, Jackie bent double and breathing hard.

Bruce’s JKD lancing into the martial arts defenses of Jet and Jackie.

Jet running up a wall, across he ceiling, and down the other wall, then collapsing before he could strike Bruce in the back of the head.

Jackie rolling across the floor, holding his groin, saying, “Oh, my arthritis hurts!”

For long minutes, at least twenty minutes, the fight went on, the damage must have been incredible, the amount of pain these three warriors could inflict, and take, must have been incredible.

It was a fight that only Wong Jack Man could have survived.

Finally, however, it was over. Whatever had happened had happened, and the damage had been done.

It took a few minutes – this author had to threaten Dim Mak to the bodies of his gorgeous captors – but finally I broke free and pulled open the door to the warehouse.

Every single stick of furniture had been broken. Rugs that had been nailed down were now overturned, and even the paint on the wall was bruised. Doubtless from the massive amounts of secret chi that had been generated by these three superheroes.

Jet sauntered past this writer and into the hallway, my head turned, my eyes wide, to follow him.

A sound from inside the warehouse, and I quickly looked back. Jackie brushed by, quick on his crutches.

My gaze followed him, and Bruce rolled his wheel chair over my toes.

I turned and stared at the three iconic and even legendary martial artists. They stood…well, Bruce sat…and stared at me.

Jet sneered, his arms supported…uh, supporting his babes.

Jackie breathed hard and was bent double and even moaning a little.

Bruce merely looked at my toes and grinned.

“We had our fight,” stated Jet Li.

“And we know who’s best,” said Jackie, straightening up to speak, but immediately bending back over and gasping.

“But we aren’t going to tell you,” said Bruce. And then he added. “You stupid.”

And then they walked…Bruce rolled…away. Into the legends of time, into the myth of history, to hide in government sponsored warehouses to await a time when the world was ready to be influenced by their glory.

And this writer was left with one, and only one, conclusion.

Can a person get a black belt in one year? Here’s the answer…

The author, age 25, 1974. We were all young once, hopefully, we will all grow old.

There are two type of people in this world.

First, there are those who think their art is best, and everybody else is a loser; who take umbrage at this article as being disrespectful to the greatest martial artists of all time; who probably didn’t even finish reading the article before mouthing their opinion as the nefarious and scurrilous nature of the author of this piece to the world.

Second, there are those who chuckle and grin; who might even laugh as hard as Bruce, Jet or Jackie would should they read this article; who order courses from Monster Martial Arts to see if the author actually has some substance behind his disrespectful and loathsome thoughts, and to see if there really is some meat behind this matrixing thing.

Which kind of martial artist are you?

Bruce Lee, the Little Dragon, was born on November 27, 1940. He would have been 74 at the time of this article, and he has been missed by EVERY martial artist in the world.

Jet Li was born on April 26th, 1963, and he was 51 at the time of this article.

Jackie Chan was born April 7, 1954, and he was 60 at the time of this article.

Both Jet and Jackie have stated that they were inspired by Bruce Lee.

About the author: Al Case was born in 1948, and was 66 at the time of this article. He never met Bruce Lee, Jet Li, or Jackie Chan. But he did see their movies, and was blessed by that experience. You can read more of his work, inspired by such as Bruce, Jet and Jackie, at MonsterMartialArts.com. You can subscribe to his blog at Matrix Martial Arts (https://alcase.wordpress.com)

You, too, Can Become a Legend of Kung Fu!

SECRETS OF KUNG FU STRENGTH DISCOVERED!

I am not referring to Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, or any of the other martial art cinema stars when I refer to legends of kung fu. I am talking about those mystical feats that all people are in awe of, and wish they could do.

One of the first legends I ever came across was a fellow who could jump 6 to 10 feet high. He could stand on the street and jump to rooftop. The way to learn how to do this was to dig a hole 1 foot deep and practice jumping out of it for an hour every day, after a month you add a few inches, another month a few more inches, after a few years you’re down to 6 feet, 7 feet, 10 feet, And then you can jump right to the roof of the house. Whoa!

Another legend of kung fu I came across, more dangerous, was a fellow who would stab himself first with a pen and a bigger pan finally a small knife and a bigger night, And eventually he would be able to take withstand the strike of swords. Whoa!

My favorite of these legends, is actually more of an American legend. It was born out of people’s desire to have great strength. What you do is you lift a new born calf on your shoulders. And the next day you lift it again. And the next and the next. And by time a year is past you are able to lift a 1000 pounds. Whoa!

Now I love these legends, but let’s face it if they were that easy everybody would be doing them. So really, These are the comic book variations of internet scams.

The only real way to do kung fu is to get yourself a good martial arts course and do it. No tricks no gimmicks, just good hard work, and a belief in yourself that you can accomplish great things in your life.

Probably the best kung fu course out there, is the Shaolin butterfly. It is based on fut ga Shaolin hung fu, but it uses Western logic to make the study faster and more efficient.

Check it out, that’s the Shaolin Butterfly Gung Fu at monstermartialarts.com

Things You Didn’t Know About Jackie Chan!

Jackie Chan is one of the biggest things to ever come out of Hong Kong. He is the star of Jackie Chan Adventures, and Jackie Chan’s death has been rumored more times than Gordon Lui has fans. A master of Kung Fu, his feats inspire hordes of young uns, and even a few of the old uns. Here a back and forth on a few things you know about Jackie, and a few things you don’t.

Jackie was born on April 7th in hong Kong, in 1954. He was apprenticed (indentured?) to the Peking Opera. And he has 16 names. That’s right, 16 names used in his culture, for films, for whatever. That’s a lot of names for a short fellow!

He is the star of the Rush hour series, a wildly popular America film series with actor Chris Rock. What many people don’t know is that Jackie doesn’t like the series, and for a very simple reason: he doesn’t understand it! He has said that he simply doesn’t get American humor! Imagine that, somebody making people laugh who doesn’t understand why they are laughing!

Many people don’t know it, but Mr. Chan acted with Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon. Go on, look for the guard with the fu manchu mustache in the jail fight scene. That’s Jackie. What is surprising, however, is that though he enjoys Bruce Lee, he has built his screen persona in opposition to Mr. Lee’s! He doesn’t play strong, silent types, but rather foolish weak types. He doesn’t hold his arms wide, like Bruce Lee, but close in. Bruce is smooth and flowing, Mr. Chan is tight and choppy. And in a variety of other things he chooses to do the opposite.

And, the one sad thing about Mr. Chan, he is a communist. In fact, he sparked a firestorm of protest when he labeled America the most corrupt country in the world. This is actually understandable, as he grew up in China under the Mao regime. However, considering that he has made his money under capitalism, there is a thread of illogic to his viewpoint. Perhaps he would be willing to give all his money to the government and let them direct his Jackie Chan Adventures?

This has been a page about Jackie Chan.

A Great Wing Chun Wooden Dummy Training Tool

The Wing Chun wooden dummy is a fantastic training device. It toughens the arms for blocking, it toughens the palms for striking, and it is an opponent that never quits, but always loses. Unfortunately, it costs a bit much, so here are a couple of alternatives to help the Wing Chun aficionado.

Wake up!

The Wing Chun Wooden Dummy is popular in many martial arts, but Wing Chun Ving Tsun) Gung Fu is the best known. This art has practiced with the wooden fellow for the longest amount of time, and even has a complete form for dominating it. Other Martial arts, however, utilize the dummy, also.

This writer recalls watching the Kung Fu wooden dummy in Jackie Chan’s great kung fu flick Rumble in the Bronx. Watching the air become thick with dust when Jackie lays into it is a great moment. Possibly the best flick to show the wooden training Partner is the movie Ip Man, with Donny Yen.

In the beginning the martial artist will become competent at training on kicking bags and speed bags, and perhaps strengthening the mitts on the makiwara. It won’t be long, however, until the karateka or kung fu zealot puts a couple of rug samples on a pine tree and starts tougher hand conditioning exercises. A nice trick, however, is to get the wooden limb to move towards you so you can block it.

This writer made a quick striking pole by taping a towel around a broomstick, and then having people come at him with it. This rapidly turned into an advanced form of free fighting, where the block had to be accomplished, and the distance to the attacker covered. It is a hard task to move three or four feet in a split second to close the distance the to the pole.

From there one might consider mounting a pole on a pivot. Simply bury a two by four in the earth, then place a moveable pole atop it. On can block the pole, and block it again when it swings around, and even get into ducking and blocking.

Eventually, one will want to get a large piece of wood-a log-drill holes through it, and set up some arms and even legs. One can then dance back and forth, palm the wooden limbs, and pretend that one is fighting a real opponent. What is really nifty is to put some large springs on the limbs so that there is a certain amount of give and take.

The cost of wood being considerable, or perhaps the difficulty of procuring a log when you live in in a city, one might think about different materials. A length of PVC might suffice, if one can find thick enough material that won’t break, or perhaps even some sort of light metal. This type of dummy and limbs would require some sort of wrapping to protect the hands and feet.

In closing, there are many ways to set up a false attacker, and the martial student is limited only by his imagination. Watch movies, read instruction manuals, and start inspecting the materials that you might use. Guaranteed, a Wing Chun wooden dummy will provide you with many hours of happy martial arts training.

Find out more about Kung Fu Wooden Dummy forms of training. Head to Monster Martial Arts.

Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan?

Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan Get Down!

I’ve always wondered who would win the fight…Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. These guys were the ultimate top of the martial arts, die hard fanatical kung fu adepts. And, yes.  I know, Bruce Lee is dead, but what most people don’t know is that they were actually in one movie together, which would have put them at relative ages for a beat down.

Martial Arts Action Hero Jackie Chan!

The name of the movie, for those who are interested, is Enter the Dragon. I had heard that Jackie was one of the nameless monks when Bruce does his flip in the beginning of the movie. And he may have been. But where he is really obvious is during the prison break scene. He is the guard with the mustache. Go on, watch it. A fascinating piece of kung fu cinema history.

Anyway, on Bruce Lee’s side, we have a person who honed himself to physical perfection, who studied the philosophy of the martial arts, who invented his own fighting system.

On Jackie Chan’s side we have a person who went through the Peking Opera. Incredibly tough work outs every day, and mastered multiple styles of Kung Fu.

Now, to contrast these two marvelous martial artists…Bruce knew Wing Chun Gung Fu, but he didn’t master it. Yes, he studied many martial arts, but he comes out behind Jackie Chan in this one.

In fighting, however, the little dragon has it over ‘Big Nose.’  Bruce’s willingness to fight is legendary. From rooftop contests to back alley brawls, Bruce fought any and all. Even during filming of his movies, when he obviously could have stood back and played the star, he preferred to meet any who doubted and make believers out of them.

In the face of this awesome fighting talent Jackie might take second place, except for one thing. In spite of the Little Dragon’s incredible physique, Jackie was actually better at stunts, and, let’s face it, he could take immense amounts of damage and keep going. The outtakes of his movies show him breaking literally every bone in his body, and yet he kept going. Broken leg? Cast it up and jump from a dock to a moving boat. Skull fracture so bad you could see the grey matter? Back on the set in two days.

So, what do you think?

Here’s a poll…

This has been a page about who was the better fighter, Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.

A List Of Jackie Chan Stunts In Which He Nearly Bought the Farm!

Martial Arts Action Hero Jackie Chan!

In the list of Jackie Chan stunts the star has come close to death more times than you can count. Still, he keeps going, making some of the best martial arts movies in the history of cinema. Here are seven Jackie Chan Films in which he nearly died, or at least suffered serious injuries.

One of his early starring efforts was a movie called Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow. During the filming of this movie he failed to evade a sword which should have had a blunt edge. The result was a thick spray of his blood, and the screams you hear in the scene are of his real and actual pain.

In the filming of Police Story he was almost paralyzed. He slid down a pole in one action packed sequence, exploding all the lights and ripping electrical wires and falling through a glass cover. In this scene he broke the seventh and eighth vertebra in his backbone, and severely dislocated his hip.

During the making of Crime Story Jackie had a scene in which he was between two cars which were coming together. Either his timing, or the drivers’ of the cars timing was not quite what it should have been. The sequence resulted in one Jackie Chan Stunt with two crushed legs.

He has injured his knees more times than he can count, and doubts that he has much cartilage remaining in them. One of the worst knee injuries he ever suffered was during a skateboard scene. The film was named City Hunter.

One of his most famous injuries was while filming a scene while filming Rumble in the Bronx. He leaped and broke his ankle when attempting to land on a moving hovercraft. You can see, if you look carefully, the cast they put on his leg so he could keep filming.

He nearly broke his neck during Project A. In this scene he fell from a clock tower, bounced from awning to awning, before landing on his head on the ground. You can see this scene, and other out takes, at the end of the movie.

The worst injury he ever suffered, however, was on the set of Armour of God. He leaped from a high wall to a tree, missed the limb he was aiming for, and bashed his head on the ground. The star is a trooper however, for within two days of nearly dying from a broken skull and hemorrhaging brain, he was back on the set filming more of his incredible Jackie Chan Stunts.

Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Jet Li! Who was the best martial artist? Head on over to Free Martial Arts Online to find out!

Shaolin Movie is Stellar…Less than Stellar

I have to admit it, when it comes to Shaolin Kung Fu, I am a movie junkie. I even watch the bad movies and think they are great. This brings me to Shaolin, a movie which was released here in Los Angeles this last week.
The movie has moments of genius, not because of the kung fu, but because it is so well crafted as a story, with real characters (Andy Lau was phenomenal!), and…the Shaolin Temple.
And, to be sure, the Kung Fu was absolutley thrilling. From lackadaisical monks training on tall poles, to fighting scenes where you saw some real…stuff. Really great stuff.
Now, that being said, the sad part is that it appears that the movie was made in Hollywood. By that I mean it appears it was put together in committee. By that…I mean that they kept slicing in little pieces of this and that to please some producer who put in some money, had some pull, had an ax to grind…and so on.
It’s was like watching a gr-r-r-eat movie, maybe something like Schindler’s List, and having Julie Andrews come on stage and burst intot he Sound of Music.
Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but to an aficionado, yes, it was that bad.
The most glaring of this was Jackie Chan’s character. He has a peculiar relationship with Kung fu, and they pull that off, then, in a grand fighting finale, they have a bunch of schtick and cheering Kung Fu brats. If that sounds weird, go see the movie and see if you disagree.
Still, I give the movie Shaolin high stars, recommend you see it highly, and you will really enjoy the kung fu, and the training sequences. Drop by Monster Martial Arts and pick up a free martial arts book.

Martial Arts Action Star Jackie Chan Stars in Adult Film!

Martial Arts Action Hero Jackie Chan!

Who woulda thunk, but Martial Arts Action Star Jackie Chan has actually appeared in an adult film! This is one of those little facts that virtually no one knows about, and it happened early in his career.
To understand the why of it all, one should understand that Jackie, same as any movie star, had a rough time breaking into the business.
He was trained in the Peking Opera Company, can sing, dance, do kung fu like nobody’s business, write, direct, and so on and so on and so on.
Anyway, his first real film was called Little Tiger of Canton. It was a commercial flop, and nothing else he did at the time seemed to be working, so, just like a Hollywood newie, he was featured in a movie called ‘All in the Family.’
All int he Family, probably a knock off on the American comedy series, but one can only wonder what perversions were performed. Sisterly love? Motherly love? Huh!
And one can only cringe when thinking of how he might put his talents to use, doing flips and somersaults in bed, flying through windows, breaking glass and all, into the beds of…you know.
At any rate, fortunately for the kung fu fans of the world, he gave up his chance to be a Chinese adult star and managed to make it as a kung fu hero. And that is the story concerning martial arts action star Jackie Chan and adult films. Pick up a free martial arts book at Monster Martial Arts. Monster has the best martial arts courses on DVD in the world.

Karate Kid Hits TV! Flawed Movie with Some Real Kung Fu!

Interesting how the Karate Kid gets changed for a new generation, but the strength of the movie lies in Jackie Chan, and some truly remarkable real Kung Fu training and fighting.

The weakness in the movie is in Jaden Smith. The original Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, wasn’t very good, but you sort of liked him. you could empathize with him.

Jaden is a bit spoiled, and the movie, when it shifts away from the incredible Jackie, becomes a sequence of ‘Ain’t I cool.’ Sort of like watching Fresh Prince regurgitated.

The strengths lie in watching Jackie Chan impart priceless wisdom, and some nifty Kung Fu moves. The wax on wax off has been replaced with a jacket, and the trip up to the snake lady is absolutely marvelous.

Interestingly, I would like to see a stronger actor go somewhere with the Snake Lady concept. Now that wouldbe a movie!

Anyway, in spite of the weaknesses, if you haven’t seen the Karate Kid, do so. Make up your own mind, and get a fill of Jackie Chan and some real Kung Fu ah ha thoughts.

Check out Monster Martial Arts if you want to learn some Real Kung Fu real fast.

 

Ancient and Unbelievable Movie Kung Fu Training!

I remember laughing when I watched those old chop sockies on TV in the eighties. I used to watch ‘ancient masters’ show their students how to do the worm movement, or the crab pincher claw, or frog fu, or…great fun.

And the funny thing is that these things sometimes made some sort of nifty training routines.

I remember trying all the different ways Jackie chan could do push ups. I remember worming, and wondering if I was creating some sort of invincible kung fu energy.

But, when it is all said and done, I have great conditioning, super health, and an outlook on life and the martial arts that is a joy.

I mean, you watch a lot of movies and they wail and weep, and there are lots of car crashes, and all that sort of thing.

But when you can watch a movie and walk out inspired, and even try to do what the star was doing…great fun.

Jackie Chan was great, but I think the best was Gordon Liu. Lo Lieh was also one of the tops, and he was in the first kung fu movie to ever hit the American shores, Five Fingers of Death.

Check it out, but don’t go jumping off the rooftops until you make sure there is a trampoline below. Grin.

If you want more serious training, come on by my site. Monster Martial Arts. You canlearn whole arts for as little as ten dollars. And now we really are talking about some great fun!

See ya!