Tag Archives: drunken monkey kung fu

Learning The Best Martial Arts Body Conditioning System On The Planet!

Okay, I put this drill together a bunch of years ago, and it has proven to be the best Martial Arts Body Conditioning System ever. Oddly, I’ve seen bits and pieces of it in various arts, some esoteric Kung Fu styles, Capoeira, that sort of thing, but nobody has ever put the whole thing together. Too bad, it really is quick to do with some long lasting effects.

First, draw the four corners of a box on the ground. Then place your hands and feet on the corners of the box. You should be in a rather wide push up position.

Now, trade the positions of your right foot and your left hand. Over or under, I don’t care which you do, I just want you to twist your body into a new position and new direction. You should end up looking skywards.

Now, continue the motion. Don’t go backwards, keep going in the direction you started, do a dozen moves before you reverse the motion. And, when you have worked that to a frothy pitch, return to the beginning position and change the left foot and the right hand.

Doing this is going to work your upper body like you wouldn’t believe, and it is going to strengthen your core muscles and make them like iron. Now, to really exploit the exercise, add some kicks. Front or back, or even to the side, somebody pushes you to the ground and you can do some low level kicking that’ll knock the seeds right out of their little saplings.

Now, to bring this home, and to avoid injury by trying to catch yourself if you are pushed to the ground, do shoulder rolls, forward and backward, into the box. That’s what I call this position, ‘The Box.’ And I call the whole exercise the ‘Monkey in the Box.’

So somebody attacks you from the rear, and you roll and are suddenly thrusting a kicking back towards his shortcomings. He is going to be one shaken up thug. He was pouncing, stuffing his wallet in his mind, and suddenly he is going to find himself grabbing what goes for his manhood and hurting.

There is more to this exercise than I have said here, of course, and the real fun comes when you start playing with it and ‘open the box’ to find all the goodies. Kicks, throws, some rolling takedowns that you wouldn’t believe, and so on. Mind you, I don’t always advocate going to the ground, but if you have to, or if you just want the Best Martial Arts Body Conditioning System in the world, the Monkey in the Box is where you start.

I’ve written an article with some pics on this exercise. You can find it in the article section at Monster Martial Arts, or you can just click on Monkey in a Box.

Monster Newsletter #318–Mad Monkey Kung Fu!

What a glorious day!
Perfect for working out, eh?
Maybe even working out twice.
Yesterday I spread my work out over the whole day.
Every time I finished a task on the computer,
I went upstairs and worked on a form.
I know a few forms,
so by the end of the day I was beat!
I was also glowing with satisfaction.
I don’t know if you’ve got the kind of job that you can do that,
but I recommend it.

One of my students,
just to add on a bit,
used to walk the circle during breaks and lunch.
Got himself three sure work outs a day,
then a work out before and after.
He was smiling ALL the time.
And, speaking of smiling ALL the time,
let me tell you tale of drunken revelry
that actually resulted in some serious research.

One night about around 1970,
I stepped into the restroom and used the facilities,
and wondered why all the women were staring at me.
I was that blotto.
And I didn’t even get arrested.
The ladies were probably laughing too hard to call a cop.
I had my back to them,
there was no malice,
and I was in the condition I was in.
why my condition?
you’ve all heard me say
at one point or another,
that if it wasn’t for the martial arts,
I’d be a drunk.
But I loved martial arts more,
and I wouldn’t drink the night before a class.
I was taking classes,
or teaching,
six nights a week,
so I remained sober six nights of the week,
and that sure saved my bacon.

on that one night a week,
I tended to…shall we say…over do it?

So one night I went to the movies,
did stupid things,
the next day,
I thought about the movie I had seen.
‘Mad Monkey Kung Fu.’
In it,
the hero had had his hands smashed,
as I recall,
and had then rebuilt his hands until he could do
the ‘Mad Monkey Punch.’

He struck with his fingers, then his knuckles, then his fist.
Bing, bang, bong.
All in a half second.

The idea was that his opponent could take one punch that fast,
and maybe two, but he couldn’t keep his energy intact
when struck with punches
so fast and quick.

Try it.

the research,
I wanted a punch unique to my purposes,
and I started doing punches in the following manner.
middle finger/index finger/middle knuckle/index knuckle/fist/fist
And I did this in time to a rhumba rhythm.
da da, da da, da, da!
I didn’t hit hard,
I just hit consistent,
and now,
decades later,
when I use one of those fingers on somebody
it works!
Mind you,
I don’t usually strike with a finger,
I just put it on my opponent’s body and press.
da da, da da, da, da!

and my opponent goes down!
Well, there’s more to it,
but I do it on some of the courses,
show one finger take downs.
Pretty easy once you have examined the body properly,
built the finger up a bit.
The best course for this is probably Temple Karate


That’s where I show how I do some of the classical forms,
the changes I’ve made after four decades of art,
I show the five forms that I use
which have the particular energy of the mad monkey strike,
through my own unique perspective,
of course.
which includes single finger take downs.

So that’s about it,
you don’t have to have crippled fingers to learn,
and you don’t even need to over imbibe on the libations.
you just need to get inspired
do the work
and keep doing the work for a few decades.
what better way to spend your time,

Here’s that link again,


And you guys
do a thousand kicks,
do push ups on your fingers,
and stay away from the booze!
Been there…done that…doesn’t work.



WIN OF THE WEEK: This is part of a win from Bill Tharp.

Your Matrix Kung Fu package is excellent instructional material as usual, and the best collection of easily learned joint locks and take-downs I have ever seen. A great buy for the money. It has greatly revived my interest in learning more. Thanks a million!

Thanks Bill, appreciate the kind words, have a great work out!

Send me your wins!