Earning a Black Belt through Video Testing!

Newsletter 815 ~ Sign up now on the Free Books page!

New Karate Black Belt Test!

Good morning!
Wonderful morning.
I just did a whole bunch of forms,
I feel like a million.

The most important Martial Arts book ever written.

Hey,
there’s lots of stuff happening,
so let me start with…
CONGRATS!
to Peter Carmody

Peter passed his Matrix Karate Black Belt test.

The test was done on video,
and Peter went through having to repeat the test,
doing all the corrections,
and making all the matrix karate material work.

And he made it look good!

Video testing is interesting.
You could probably film yourself on an iPhone,
don’t wear black against a black wall,
white against white,
and so on.

Have some sunlight,
or a few bulbs glowing.

You don’t need lots of space
as long as I can see your whole body.

Have a partner.

Be willing to fail once or twice,
at least.

And here’s the thing,
Matrix Karate is pretty darn unique.
You see,
most karate systems were developed for specific reasons,
bodyguarding,
the element of being grabbed,
having to deal with weapons,
etc.

Not saying you won’t encounter these things today,
you need some awareness of these things,
but the real factor is that we are a fist culture.
If you are in a fight
the usual weapons will be fists.
Then something that can be used as a cub,
then a knife,
etc.

But fists are the base of it all.
And,
if you can handle a fist,
it is just a short step to a knife,
if you have enough brains to adapt.

Anyway,
Matrix Karate is designed around the structure of the body,
it is a complete art,
taking into account all angles of attack and defense.
But it is SIMPLE!
Because the posing and the unnecessary techniques
have all been weeded out.

You have to learn about mistakes,
but the essence is in the logic
where one move leads to the next,
with no circus moves.

It’s funny,
I remember one of the first wins
I ever received,
this was about ten years ago.
The guy wrote that he had gone to a martial arts school,
and the first technique they taught him
was a cartwheel into a jump kick.
Not how to block and punch.
Not even the basic kicks,
but a jumping kick off a whole body contortion.

Can you see why matrixing was so desperately needed?
A little common sense?
And every system,
no matter how classical or developed,
benefits from the direct infusion of logic that matrixing provides.

Anyway,
well done to Peter,
and I recommend Matrix Karate and the Master Instructor Course
(you need both of them to test).
Whether you are accomplished and have a black belt,
whether you are a raw beginner,
whether you are just in the middle and need to get going,
Matrix Karate is the easiest,
the best,
the most efficient and completely rounded karate
on the planet.
Period.

Here’s a link to how to video test…

https://alcase.wordpress.com/martial-arts-video-testing/

Have a great work out!

Al

https://alcase.wordpress.com/martial-arts-video-testing/

go to and subscribe to this newsletter:
https://alcase.wordpress.com

Remember,
Google doesn’t like newsletters,
so this is the best way to ensure you get them.

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

How to Teach Karate Again!

Newsletter 813 ~ (subscribe now!)

Teaching Karate Again!

This is turning out to be the best summer ever!
The reason is simple…I’m teaching again.

150 Kenpo Techniques matrixed ~ Click on the cover!

It feels so good,
after the shoulder injury and surgery,
to get back out on the mat.
If you don’t recall,
I fell off a skateboard
and killed a ligament,
and the whole shoulder went south.

BUT,
doc said surgery would get me back to 99%,
and he was right.
He was really right, because he had no idea
of the rigors of the martial arts.

What I did,
when I decided the time was right,
was go to a place in town,
walk in,
and ask if the guy needed help.

He said yes,
and after a few classes of helping,
I am sometimes being handed the class
and told to have fun.

And,
as all you guys know,
there is NOTHING as fun as the martial arts.

Here’s the interesting stuff,
the martial arts have totally changed
since I learned them.
I don’t consider all changes bad,
but there are things I have to accept
if I want to teach.
And,
there are things that have stayed the same,
which leaves a huge door for me
to introduce stuff that is so old it has been forgotten.

It is fascinating
to pull out an old drill,
hand it to the students,
and watch their eyes bulge.

But,
I have to present the drill differently
than how it was handed to me.

When I was learning,
the teacher gave you something
and you were expected to do it.
Didn’t matter if it hurt.
I mean,
so what if it hurt?
You’re here to learn karate,
so don’t waste time sniveling,
just do the drill.

And we would do the drill
with manic intention.

Now,
when I teach those drills,
I have to make them soft,
and very, very gently
lead the student to harder versions
and real workability.

Currently,
I am working on a series of drills
to bring fighters in freestyle closer together,
to cut down reaction time,
and make sure that blocks work,
and punches have the desired effect.

All without giving nary a bruise.

But,
I can’t tell you,
it is more fun than I have had since…since I don’t know.
After being sidelined for a couple of years,
limited to nothing but forms,
the feel of working techniques on real bodies
is absolutely and totally and utterly exhilarating.

So,
I get letters sometimes,
from people who can’t find workout partners.

I tell them:
teach your wife,
work with your brother,
or cousin or nephew or whoever.
Put up a flier at the local gym,
or the Y,
or just be seen working out in the park.

There are 7 billion people on this globe of dirt,
all will turn their head to a car crash,
many will become instantly fascinated by martial arts,
and you are telling me you are alone.
That nobody cares.

Don’t make me sigh.

Just get out there and do it.

And,
as this newsletter indicates,
you can always just walk into a school,
ask if you can help out.
You won’t make money,
but you can do the martial arts,
you can play with other people,
and the information will trade back and forth like magic!
That is a supreme blessing,
on this planet or any other.

Here’s the obligatory page
that you DEFINITELY need to go to…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-kung-fu/

It’s where I go to get lots of drills
for teaching martial arts.

HAPPY WORK OUT!

Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-kung-fu/

go to and subscribe to this newsletter:
https://alcase.wordpress.com

Remember,
Google doesn’t like newsletters,
so this is the best way to ensure you get them.

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Winning with the Martial Arts

Newsletter 803
Make Your Day with a Martial Arts Win!

Great Afternoon!

I was teaching this morning,
and it is almost impossible to describe
how wonderful one feels
after sharing the martial arts.

Sharp,
quick,
strong,
happy.

Hey,
I thought I’d share a win.
I get wins all the time,
and if I’m a little busy,
so what…
I can still share a win,
right?

Before I do,
however,
google is figuring out
how to send newsletters into Spam folders.
So put me in your contacts,
or just go to
https://alcase.wordpress.com
and sign up.
The newsletters always end up there.

Now,
here comes a win from Jason W.

I’ve trained on two continents officially hold 1 black belt, and unofficially am that level in 2 others. I am currently working through the purple belt level in your Kang Duk Won course. I have to say that the workout is as tough as anything I did in Hapkido, but I am slowly getting there. The KDW material is filling in all the holes I had in my training. It’s really amazing how much stuff the instructors leave out or don’t even know. About a year ago I was at the place where you started in developing matrixing. I was looking for ways to bridge all my training into a logical system apart from the individual styles. I am lucky I found your site. I saved myself about 40 years of headaches! Just keep up the good work.

Thanks, Jason.
I appreciate kind words,
I love your win.

Jason is doing the course at
KangDukWon.com.

I wrote it in attempt
to keep alive all the material
I learned at the original Kang Duk Won.

So,
have a win,
and share the arts,
and if you have a win,
send it in.

If you want to beat the blues,
read the wins.

Okley donkley,

you guys have a GREAT work out,
and I’ll talk to you later.

Al

KangDukWon.com

And don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter at
https://alcase.wordpress.com

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Find the Zen of Karate…and the Zen of You

Karate, and Who You Were Before You Were Born

It’s hot here in LA,
and you can really sweat those toxins out.
The best way to sweat?
Work out!

I was driving down the street the other day,
and I saw all sorts of martial arts studios.
MMA, Muay Thai, Boxing,
Karate, Kung fu, Kenpo,
Judo, Aikido, Taekwondo,
and on and on and on.

When I began,
in 1967,
which is near 50 years ago,
there was judo,
which was taught in a few places,
and there was Karate.
Interestingly,
Karate was undergoing a boom.
This was just before Bruce Lee,
and the Tracy Brothers had breathed fire into marketing,
and Karate schools were opening every where.

I began Kenpo,
went every day,
became an instructor,
and so on,
and I had a lot of questions,
and nowhere to get the answers.
The only magazine was Black Belt,
and they sort of circled the arts,
talking about,
but never delving in.

And there weren’t many books.
There was the outlandish Super Karate Made Easy,
Ed Parker had a book out,
Robert Smith wrote his book on
Shaolin Temple boxing.
But these books were either techniques books,
or they talked in mysteries,
and there was no way to understand what the heck
the martial arts were all about.

Then I came across a book called
Zen Flesh, Zen Bones.
I had left kenpo by then,
and was in the Kang Duk Won,
and this book was a Godsend.

Not a book about technique,
not a dissertation of mental tricks,
rather questions and tales
that made you blink,
and look for the real you.

One of my favorites was the old question,
‘Who were you before you were born.’

Now you might be wondering,
how can an art built of physical routines
answer that question?

The answer to that wonderment
lies in the simple fact
that we were not distracted.
Karate was not infected by boxing,
throws weren’t an active part.
And so on.

On the surface,
looking back,
reading these words as I write them,
I can understand
why people might wonder,
how can you call that an art?
How can you think of that stripped down sapling
as a wondrous forest of spirit?

Easy.
We weren’t distracted,
and we practiced those few techniques we knew
until we could make them work.

Enlightenment is when you do one thing
without distraction,
until you see the truth of that one thing.

You have heard people like Bruce Lee say,
in the end,
a punch is just a punch,
a kick is just a kick.

But,
here’s the bad news,
if you haven’t found that out
through doing a simple kick,
or punch,
without distraction,
for tens of thousands of times,
then the truth of the statement evades you.

You know about water,
but you’ve never been wet.

That is why,
except for a few logical changes,
and the nudging of matrixing,
the karate I do now,
is virtually the same
as the karate I did way back when.

Pinan one through pinan five,
the iron horse,
a few others,
I do them almost the same as I learned them.
And,
here’s the interesting thing,
the way I learned them was only a couple of generations
removed from the way they were taught before Funakoshi.

I go into modern schools
and I don’t see what I learned.
I see forms infected by boxing,
distracted by MMA,
slanted by tournaments and kick boxing.
I see techniques discarded because people can’t make them work.
I see people fighting,
instead of painstakingly being taught the drills that lead to…not fighting,
to scientifically assessing an opponent and shredding him without waste.

Most of all,
I don’t see the calm of mind,
the calm that comes not from knowing about lots of arts,
but from knowing one thing well.
And, in these modern times,
if people do know one thing well,
it has been slanted by ‘reality fighting,’
by the desire to beat up your fellow man,
not to calm yourself,
and find the truth of yourself.

Not to find out who you were before you were born.

Here’s the art that I was taught,
unchanged except for a few logical tweaks,
and the ‘de-slanting’ of matrixing.

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

Hope you enjoy getting back to the ‘zen’ of it all.

Have a great work out!
Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Martial Arts Legends

Newsletter 793
The Truth of the Old Martial Arts Legends

Man,
this is an absolutely perfect day.
Absolutely perfect.
You know what makes it perfect?
I just worked out.
If you ever want to make NOW better,
just work out.
The more you work out,
the better NOW is.

I remember hearing old stories,
old legends from China,
and so on.

The fellow who practiced jumping out of a one foot hole.
Then, the second year, a two foot hole.
Three years a three foot hole.
After ten years he was jumping ten feet up.
Could jump on and off roofs.
And twenty years…

Then there was a the fellow who lifted a calf on his shoulders.
Did it every day.
When the calf grew into a bull, his strength was prodigious.

And so on.

Interesting stories.
Sort of like comic books.
Keeps the young kids interested.

But there is truth to those old legends.
The truth is different, however.

You do a form for a couple of years,
you train your body to move quick and fast,
any direction,
any combination of techniques.
Then,
without really understanding what is happening,
you move into the realm of the mind.
Maybe ten or twenty years.
Your thought process becomes quicker,
faster,
more intuitive.
Then,
without really understanding it,
you move into the realm of the spirit.
You stop looking at your body,
for you understand it.
You start looking at the attack,
and you aren’t a sequence of nerves and twitches and muscles and stuff,
you just go to where you are supposed to go,
without the muscular fanfare,
without the mental thinkingness.
Your body just moves through space without effort.

The thing is…
you make this happen not by measuring yourself,
but by dedicating yourself.
Not by thinking about it,
but by just doing it,
spending the years,
doing the forms over and over,
until the body gets tired of working,
until the mind gets tired of thinking about it,
until the spirit takes over and just does it.

Think about it like this:
You are digging a hole,
you are digging into the earth,
but that is just a vehicle to make strong the body.
You dig and you dig,
the body gets tired,
but you know you are getting close,
you have to keep digging,
so you steel your mind,
and you make your body keep digging.
And when the mind gets tired,
you know you are closer than ever
and all that keeps you going is your spirit.
You ignored the protests of body and mind
and you keep digging,
and,
at last,
you reach it.
It seeps out of the bottom of the hole,
seeps into your feet,
up your legs,
invigorates your body, mind and spirit.
You have found gold.
Not the gross gold that is shiny rock,
but the pure gold of refined spirit.
The gold that makes you immortal,
that makes you a pure and ever shining spirit.

Others,
unless they have done the digging,
cannot see it.
But what others know doesn’t matter.
What matters is what you know.
And you know the truth of you.

This is the truth behind the legends.
Superhuman deeds are possible,
but they are not what you think.
They are not comic book,
they are real,
but they are not normally visible,
and they are not what people usually expect.

But,
regardless,
you won’t really understand this
unless you start working out,
and don’t stop.
Work out until you are an old man.
Until the body is tired,
but you are not.
Until you realize the flesh is frail,
but the spirit is not.
That is the only proof I can offer.

Here’s the course for the week.

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

These are the ways I do the forms.

Have a great work out!
Al

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

How the Martial Arts Went Out of Control!

A glorious work out to you!
One more step towards paradise,
that’s what a work out is.
Make sure you take a couple of steps today.

Perhaps you’ve heard me say:

there is an art to destruction,
but the true art is in control.

When I was first learning
way back in the middle ages,
we took a lot of pride
to be perfect in our techniques.

We never threw a kick,
and missed and spun around,
like they do in MMA.
We threw a kick, and if it missed,
we retracted the foot right back to the ground.

And we never threw boxing punches,
like hooks and crosses and things.
Those thing broke the line of the body.
Yes,
they were stronger,
but if you had kicks you never worried about a boxer.
It was more important to hone your whole body,
to have good kicks, punches, blocks, and so on,
than it was to put everything into a wild haymaker,
or some other out of control movement.

I remember the first time i saw somebody
who was out of control in the martial arts.
I was at a tournament,
I think it was up at Richmond,
and this white belt,
when the match was begun,
would charge across the ring,
and start pummeling the other guy.
No art,
no focus,
no technique,
no experience,
no martial arts.
The shocking thing was that he got away with it.
No referee pulled him and his sensei aside,
and told him he would have to know karate
if he wanted to be in a karate tournament.

Not too long after that,
kickboxing started up.
Which was just boxing with a few kicks.
Mandatory kicks,
because it was easier
(required less art,
less attention to detail)
and more effective.

Well, of course it was more effective,
it was the ring,
and you couldn’t kick somebody in the balls.

And,
over the years,
there has been this continuous push
away from the fine tuned attention to detail,
the retraction of the kick and
the focus of the punch,
and now people just bang away
and call it karate,
or martial arts,
or whatever,
and it is.
Not by a long shot.
Doesn’t look like the stuff I learned
near fifty years ago.

The focus,
you see,
went from art,
to beating people up.

And instructors found it easy and mindless
to let people,
to encourage people,
to just throw hooks and jabs,
instead of learning how to generate energy,
and focus it precisely.

Ah, well.

Anyway,
I recommend my courses
if you want to resurrect the art.
I don’t box,
I don’t bang,
I get into the art,
the control,
the discipline that forges the spirit.

Here’s a link…

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-karate/

This link will get you going on the true art,
show you how to make karate,
real karate,
technique work.
Then the door to the real you will open.

Have yourself a great work out!

Al

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

How to Break Out of Stupid with the Martial Arts!

Increasing Intelligence with the Martial Arts

Good sunny morning to ya!
Did you know that every time you work out
you wake up a little bit more?
Physical and mental,
it comes together.
All you have to do is work out.

Click on the cover to find out about the China to Okinawa Karate connection

Now,
I read the most interesting stuff the other day.
It was all about the educational process in America,
and it was backed up by a huge book,
showing how the american educational system
has been under attack for nearly 100 years.

Now,
what does this have to do with Martial Arts?
A lot,
actually.

How do you measure intelligence?
The school systems say it is how much you can remember.
How many facts you can store in your head.
Nope.
Not even close.

The real measurement of intelligence
is how fast you can think.
A large database obscures speed of thought.
Besides, the database implanted in you by schools,
is a fake database.
It has nothing to do with reality.

Your real database is how much reality you are aware of,
and the measure of intelligence
is how fast you can deal with the facts of reality.
How fast you come up and implement a solution
when somebody tries to punch you in the face.
That is intelligence.

And,
to be crude about it,
who is going to survive better?
A fellow with a large and cumbersome database
artificially implanted by the school system,
that doesn’t deal with reality?
Or a fellow who is aware of his surroundings,
and can deal with anything that happens
in quick time?

Okay,
so that brings us to the martial arts.
There is no better method
for making a person aware of his surroundings,
than the martial arts.
There is no superior method
for learning how to have a high IQ,
than by making the lightening quick decisions
that go along with handling a punch to the face.

If you talk to people who are successful,
you will find a higher percentage of people
who studied martial arts.

They are more intelligent.

Now,
there are drawbacks.
For instance,
if you are learning to fight,
but not control yourself,
it doesn’t work.
You get beat up,
and can even damage your database.
You might end up smart,
but you’re also stupid.
Decisions are tainted,
that sort of thing.

And,
if you are not learning forms,
and learning how to make them work
then you aren’t really getting smarter.

Why forms?
Because they are artificial databases
that have to do with how fast and accurately
one moves their body.
That relates directly to reality.

I remember the first time I learned a form.
It was a really simple thing,
but it took me a couple of weeks to learn the whole thing
and then I kept forgetting it.

But,
a few years later,
the last form I learned for Black Belt,
a sizable form called Botsai,
I learned it in one setting.

One gulp.

And I could do the form,
and I didn’t forget it.

So my intelligence went up
because of all the sweat I put into the martial arts.
And the intelligence was directly connected
to reality.

And,
here’s something interesting,
right after that I lost my reaction time,
became intuitive,
and there is no faster thought than intuitive.
Heck,
intuition opens the door
to seeing when things are going to happen
before they happen!

And it was all because of learning forms.

Now,
there are faster ways,
the method I learned by was severely flawed.
The Matrix Karate forms,
because they are logical,
a beginner can do in a lesson or two.
He doesn’t have to keep learning,
struggling to remember,
he can do them,
he won’t forget,
and they are directly related to reality.

And I recommend Matrix Karate
before you learn classical karate.
And,
if you already know Karate,
if you have learned a classical system,
then Matrix Karate will fill in the blanks,
and enhance your classical studies,
so that they make more sense than you dreamed existed.
The logic of Matrixing
will align the classical so it is logical.

Man,
talk about super accelerated,
extreme and advanced
pure Karate!

Anyway,
if you don’t have Matrix Karate,
get it.
And if you have Matrix Karate,
then get Temple Karate
for a very pure classical system.
Both are available at Monster Martial Arts.

Remember,
the fact of the matter is that modern educational systems
are designed to make factory workers.
People who learn martial arts are smarter,
and they usually end up being in charge of the factory.

Here are the links for Matrix Karate
and Temple Karate.

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-karate/

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

Have a great work out!

Al

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/matrix-karate/

http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts/temple-karate/

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

The Truth of the Horse Stance!

Doing the Horse Stance the Right Way

I originally was told
that the horse stance is for learning how to fight
while you’re on the back of a horse.

Then I was told it was for fighting side to side
while standing in rice paddies.

Kima Chasie ~ Horse Meditation

My own idea was that it was
for fighting on the sides of space ships.
There’s no gravity,
and you hook your feet under handles
so you can fight without flying off into space.

All ideas were probably a part of the truth,
which brings us to the real truth,
or at least as much as I can surmise
in the infancy of my ancient years.

Here’s part of a letter I wrote to a fellow
who asked me about the horse Stance.

Well, we differ here. The full data is somewhere in the Master Instructor Course, but, if you have a fellow stand with the feet shoulder width apart, feet out 45 degrees, and push across his shoulders, he will fall over. If you have him turn his feet straight, or even better, slightly in (hourglass stance), then he won’t fall over.

This gets very interesting, as you can have him feet out, feet in, again and again, and watch the results, and he loses confidence in the feet out stance and gets worse, and the feet in stance gets better. But he goes through some head gyrations trying to figure this all out.

Now, in a horse stance, because you are pushing down on the fellow he may not fall over, even if he has his feet pointing 45 degrees out, but he definitely doesn’t have as much root.

And, if a fellow is experienced, he may be able to drive his ground through a foot out stance and get away with it. But he is having to work way too hard to do it. Proper grounding requires no effort, no energy, you just drop the weight, align the body, and sink your thoughts.

Interestingly, I once heard a high level Gojo practitioner explain the foot out stance. Goju has those 45 degree foot out horse stances, you know.

He said the purpose was to make the small of the back softer. I have no idea what he meant. And, for that matter, there are a lot of things that Goju, and other arts, do that defies physics.

It often sounds like they are making up reasons without having any clue at all.

Anyway, speaking of physics, how I came up with this idea of foot in and foot out body testing came from when I was a kid. I used to examine medical pictures of the foot, and I examined my own foot, and I tried to understand how the thing worked.

Why was there an arch (spring), how should you run (walk)…with the feet straight so that foot could react in an anatomically correct manner. So you could best use the spring.

And this morphed into the reverse of spring, into proper grounding.

So it was an examination of the the foot, with physics and medicine (anatomy) in mind.

As opposed to softening the back for whatever reason.

Now, that all said, choose for yourself. Maybe there is something I don’t understand. I just try to present my viewpoint, and realize that I don’t know everything, that people have to come to their own conclusions.

And that is my official reasoning…
for now
viewpoint of the horse stance.

But the real truth,
aside from what I say,
or what anybody thinks,
happens when you do the horse stance
for a few years.

Do the Tekki forms.
Funakoshi is supposed to have spent ten years doing them,
and he highly recommended such practice.

I know in the Kang Duk Won
we practiced something called
Kima Chasie,
which meant ‘Horse Meditation.’
We would sit in the horse stance,
one hand in a high block and the other hand extended to the sides
with the fingers hooked around in a beak to the rear.
We would stare at the beak
and try to forget the pain,
focus on our breathing,
and just stay there.

Really worked.

Here’s a clip of the horse form.

And if you’re interested in more
of that sort of training,
Check out Temple Karate
on MonsterMartialArts.com.

Guaranteed good stuff.

Have yourself a great work out!

Al

http://www.amazon.com/Matrixing-Tong-Bei-Internal-Gung/dp/1507869290/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423678613&sr=8-1&keywords=tong+bei

Merry Xmas Monster Martial Arts Stye!

 A Martial Arts Xmas to You!

Good morning!
It’s almost Xmas!
Almost time to sneak down
and open the presents the night before!
Find that set of throwing stars, 
or shiny, new sword,
or other implement for keeping world peace.
Heh.
And,
speaking of the night before,
it is time for my yearly rendering of
The Night Before Xmas!
Monster Martial Arts Style,
of course.

HanaKwanMass to Freedom Fighters the World Over!

But,
before I offend everybody,
let me remind you,
I have two specials going on.

One,
Rolling Fists is half price,
because I have a bunch of labels
that faded.
Email me for details.

Two,
the HanaKwanMass two for one special!
That’s right,
get any course,
and email me afterward
for any other course
of equal or lesser value!

AND…
speaking of HanaKwanMass,
it stands for Hanukah/Kwanza/Xmas,
it is my attempt to offend
EVERY politically correct person I can.
Simply,
if somebody who is purple,
believes different than you,
is from faroutistan,
wishes you a happy whatever holiday,
TAKE IT AND LOVE IT!
And wish them well back!

Okay,
enough bushwah,
let’s get down to the one poem
that I do year after year,
which offends anybody with sensibility
but is a hoot to a martial artist…

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Twas the night before Christmas
I was in my shack
primed and ready
for the red fat attack.

my weapons were loaded
the windows were barred
all would be safe
while I was on guard

The chimney was decked
with concertina wire
I crouched by the couch
ready to fire.

I had an M60
with ammo to feed
I didn’t care
if the red fat did bleed.

A loaded shotgun
and grenades to spare
when red fat came down
I’d blow him out of there.

Throwing stars and knives
and a really long sword
and if that didn’t work
I knew a bad word.

Sitting there late
my eyes started to close
when suddenly I heard
a bunch of ho hos.

Off with the lights
safety off, too
I  watched the fire close
and heard a sound from the flu.

‘Ouch and gosh darn it
who put the wire here
those are my undies
starting to tear!’

Then a shower of soot
and a grunt and a groan
he landed in the fire
and gave out a moan.

He was rubbing the place
where the wire did tear
so I held down the trigger
and lead filled the air.

belt after belt
did I deal the red fat
he danced and he jumped
I knew he felt that!

then quicker than spit
I ran out of lead
but enough was enough
he had to be dead.

Boy was I shocked
to see him stand tall
stepping out of the fireplace
not bothered at all.

So I grabbed up the 16
to mow him down
he had to be hurting
cause I saw his big frown.

Then I was empty
and he came straight for me
I pulled out my knives
and sliced him with glee

He jumped to the side
moving real quick
disarmed my knives
with a well placed kick

then he dropped the big bag
he had on his shoulder
reached forth his arms
and his anger did smolder

He grabbed hard my neck
and held me up high
I tried kicks and punches
but I was like a fly

Not karate nor judo
no art did work
and he grinned a mean grin
and called me a jerk

‘Don’t you know
you stupid little man
Christmas is forever
in spite of your plan.’

Then he threw me aside
and proceeded to work
giving presents to all
and to me a great smirk

And when he left
the great big red fat
he left me a lump of coal
the big red fat rat!

HANAKWANMASS TO ALL

and to all a great work out.

Al

BTW ~ If you want to spread the HanKwanMass spirit, feel free to share, hit the FB button, email to a friend, or whatever.

Don’t forget to subscribe!

Special Martial Arts Xmas Present!

Newsletter 721
A HanaKwanMass Present to You!

Hi.
Thanks for being a martial artist.
Wouldn’t it be a better world
if everybody was a martial artist?
Strong, calm, competent…
able to look their fellow man in the eye,
fulfill their purpose on earth
without all the bushwah?

Well,
in that spirit,
I’m going to explain Hanakwanmass,
then offer you a deal.

In the last few years it has become politically incorrect
to offer a Merry Christmas to somebody.
Heck,
if they are Black, or Jewish,
or purple or have feathers instead of hair,
or something else,
you might offend them!

Oh,
horrors!

So I started saying
HanaKwanMass.
Which stands for
Hanukah/Kwanza/Christmas
and that way
I could offend EVERYBODY!

Specifically
I could offend everybody who doesn’t understand
that Merry Christmas,
or Happy Hanukah,
or Kool Kwanza
is a good wish to all,

And if somebody is so stupid to get offended
just because somebody gave them a well wish
then they should move to a war zone,
or a prison,
or maybe just go to the movies and chill out.

So..
Hanakwanmass to you all!

And,
in the spirit of Xmas,
and in the interest of making everybody
into calm and capable martial artists,
Two for one until Jan 1 2015.

Get one course,
email me with your choice of a second course,
and I will send it to you.
(Please make sure they are of equal value)

And,
for anybody who doesn’t understand,
Buy one and get one free.
Two for one.
You can get one for yourself,
and one for your friend,
your mate,
your son/daughter
aging grandpa who can’t get up out of the rocker
but, man, would he like to learn the martial arts!

Remember…
TWO FOR ONE
(Please make sure they are of equal value)
and…

HANAKWANMASS TO EVERYBODY!

And have yourself a mighty, fine work out!

Al

(email is: aganzul@gmail.com)