I was Attacked on Christmas!
And a great work out to you!
the martial arts killed Christmas.
it was me,
with my martial arts
that killed Christmas.
Killed it dead.
Dead a poisoned rat in a trap dropped in a well.
Here’s how it happened.
Back in 1974,
I had just gotten my Black Belt.
I was in phenomenal shape,
the martial arts had turned on
all sorts of abilities for me.
I had a sixth sense open up,
I could feel when people were going to do things,
I could sense things around me,
I moved through the world
a warrior unbound.
My wife and I lived in a small house in Redwood City.
There was an upstairs and a downstairs.
It was so compact
that the bathroom was under the stairs.
One night I awoke,
felt the need to relieve myself.
stumbling through the dark,
I descended the stairs.
I turned through the living room
and headed for the bathroom.
a shape rushed at me!
It was dark,
but I could feel the motion.
I spun into a classical move,
and chopped with perfect form.
The intruder crashed against the wall.
and he was down and out!
Now that’s good martial arts,
and I turned on the light.
The Christmas tree lay a ruin.
Every ornament was flung from the tree,
little bulbs lay in shards,
scattered across the floor
needless to say,
no longer worked.
The cheery, little angel
that had topped the tree
was smacked against the wall
and lay in ruins.
I had snagged the Christmas tree cord with a foot,
and pulled the ‘intruder’
down upon myself.
I had defended myself rather adequately,
don’t you think?
I remember a time in an Aikido class,
when the instructor had talked about
using the sixth sense to protect oneself,
but not being so violent,
that Grandma had to worry,
when she walked up behind you
and tapped you on the shoulder.
I understood that one.
And I understood that I had a lot more to go,
a lot more to learn,
past black belt.
getting a black belt is just the start.
That’s like graduating from high school,
and there’s all sorts of college ahead of you,
advanced studies in rare fields.
A lot to look forward to.
there are those that quit the martial arts
after getting their black belt.
They have nothing to look forward to.
Or at least didn’t,
until the Matrixing courses came out.
even if it’s been a few years
since you worked out,
you can jump back in the game,
study those rare fields of knowledge.
figure out this ‘chi’ business,
And you can do it logically,
without all the mystical bullstuff
that infects most martial arts.
up to you.
It is Christmas
so you might think about getting yourself
a nice present.
A present like a whole martial art.
How about Shaolin?
here’s something you should know…
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And don’t forget to be politically correct.
Don’t say Merry Christmas,
it might offend somebody.
be socially responsible and say Happy…
Say Merry Christmas if you want!
And the heck with people
who object to a well wishing!
It’s the only way to go!
HanaKwanMass to all,
and to all…
A HAPPY WORKOUT!
(And try not to kill the tree, you rabid dogs!)
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