The Monkeyland Survival Guide


I remembered writing a Martial Arts article

back in the nineties,
and my editor actually added some stuff to it.
Very unusual,
he almost always
let my stuff slip through as written,
but this article mentioned the second amendment.

Did you know I was once kicked out of an airport
for carrying a kubotan?

A friggin’ keychain!
And, not as deadly as a sharpened pencil
if you happen to know how to use a sharpened pencil,
which I do.

But it got me ticked,
so I wrote the article,
and it was all on
the Department of Martial Arts.
(http://monstermartialarts.com/martial-arts-articles/martial-arts-laws-will-keep-you-legal/)

With all the laws passed to get rid of guns,
the point was that it was only a matter of time
before laws were passed
to get rid of martial arts.

You think not?

I once taught a fellow from the Soviet Union area,
and he was prohibited from studying martial arts.
Martial Arts were ONLY for police
and the sons of politicians.

Yes.
The sons of politicians.

Can anybody spell ‘Al Gore Junior?’

Anyway,
I thought this whole thing sort of silly,
until I ran into those kinds of experiences,
and realized how badly
our government has been abused.

And,
this morning I was thinking about it,
and I started laughing.

Did you know it is legal to carry a hammer down the street?
Do you know how much damage
you can do to somebody
with a balpeen hammer?
Heck,
you can put it in your belt,
walk into a police station with it,
twirl it around,
and nobody will even blink.

And,
now that we’re talking about it,
you can carry a handful of REALLY sharp nails in your fist.
Take out an eyeball with that one,
eh?
Or,
really feeling ballsy?
You can walk down the street with an ax.

It’s true!

And if anybody stops you,
you just say,
I’m on the way to a job,
or,
I’m going to my brother’s house.

What are they going to do?
Ban building tools?
Close down Home Depot?

It’s funny,
in this day and age
with things like nun chuck and sickles
on the endangered species list
nobody has started a martial art on farm tools.

Well,
anyway,
I was just thinking.
I hope you are, too.
Life’s too short not to think,
you know?

Now,
that all said,
I should mention
that this idea came from this manual I was writing.

The Monkeyland Survival Guide.

Well heck,
you all knew there’s a bit of the prepper in me.
Maybe even a lot.

So this is just one of the ideas in The Monkeyland Survival Guide.

The complete thing is over a hundred pages,
and it is the first three months of Monkeyland.
Complete with pictures.

The utter shock of moving into the wilderness,
of actually being off the grid.

No energy.

No water.

Wild animals.

People with guns.

This is what has actually happened.
Some of it will make you groan.
Some of it will make you laugh.

Some of it will make you question whether I really am
the leading martial arts thinker of our time.

I mean,
you’ll be slapping your head and saying,
‘He did…what?’

But…
once you get over the chuckles,
there are some serious questions here.

Want to put together a solar power system?
Like…right now?
Here’s how we did it.

Want to purify water?
Here’s how.

Want to know how to deal with life when
you don’t have a refrigerator…
you don’t have energy…
you don’t have TV…
and the animals are attacking you?

Want to be able to survive when
an atom bomb drops…
Want to continue living when
US currency stops being the world’s reserve?
Or how about something simple,
like an attack by Russians/terrorists/banksters/whatever?

How about this…
no matter what the event,
when the supermarkets run out…
would you like to know how to grow your own food?

This is the stuff we went through,
and it is hard core…fun.

That’s right.
FUN.

Because when you stop yelling at the TV for lying,
when you get out away from the government that tells you not to do anything…
WHEN YOU GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING!
Then you are having fun.

You may not know it at the time…
but it is the time you will remember all your life.

It is the time you stepped up and did the job.

Here’s the link…

http://churchofmartialarts.com/bookstore/monkeyland-survival-guide/

And,
I just want to say a quick something.
Martial Arts are about survival,
and that means all kinds of survival.

Did you know that Mas Oyama went into the mountains
and trained in the freezing snow
for two years.

Did you know that Morihei Ueshiba,
went to northern Japan,
isolated himself in a farming community
for several years?

It’s all part of surviving,
of finding out who you are and what you can do.

No,
I don’t expect everybody to run screaming into the hills,
but you should at least have an idea
of how to survive beyond your forms and techniques.

So,
here it is,
a lot of good stuff
won by the dirt under my nails
and the headaches of really screwing up.
Take advantage now,
learn something outside of your normal experience,
and remember
you ten bucks is going to go directly
to helping Monkeyland.

Thanks.

Okay,
enjoy the week,
and have LOTS of good work outs,

Talk to you later…
Al

BTW,
here are some of the books from
The Ultimate Karate Encyclopedia:
from Gung Fu to Matrixing

Pan Gai Noon ~ https://www.createspace.com/4579584

Kwon Bup ~ https://www.createspace.com/4617449

Buddha Crane ~ https://www.createspace.com/4577595

the other two books are almost here.

 

If you wish to subscribe to this newsletter go to MonsterMartialArts.com and click on the FREE books offer…

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