How to Handle Idiots with Good Karate Instruction
Speaking of good karate instruction, there are two types of people in this world: those who get it, and those who don’t.
Now, I always try to be polite, especially when teaching Karate, or gung fu, or the various other martial arts, for the simple reason that people are more willing to listen to you when you are polite.
However, there are the idiots. The people who don’t get it. Which is, unfortunately, everybody, until they get it.
So, I teach martial arts softly, explaining slowly with words of few syllables, until they get it. Then I don’t have to call them idiots, right?
However, I must admit that I do tend to get intense while teaching, and every once in a while I’ll snap when somebody gets too slow for me. It’s quick, it’s hard, and people blink.
I am teaching, pouring out pearls of wisdom, and they just won’t open their head up and let me pour a little martial arts wisdom into it, and I just can’t take it any longer.
Students who have managed to stay with me more than a month understand this frustration of mine. They get it. They grin. Bad hair day for Al. Then I grin. Al was an idiot. He got too intense, too excited.
Then there are the ones who don’t get it. As soon as I snap, I feel it, the whimper within, the hurt.
At this point you expect an apology, ‘oh, please,’ ‘I’m sorry,’ that sort of garbage.
Not on your friggin’ life.
If somebody gets offended in class, then they will get offended on the street, and then they are going to be in a fight, and then…so when I snap and crackle a little too much, and the person takes offense, I snap and crackle a lot.
Now, pardon my French, but I am going to say some nasty words here. You aren’t my students (yet), so if you don’t like dirty words, stop reading right here.
I had a girl in one of my classes, and she was proving recalcitrant to the learning process, and I snapped.
Oh, a sweet, innocent girl. Old enough to beat people up, but easily offended. A bad combination of factors.
And I got a big grin inside.
And I grinned openly, and got a look in my eye, as I stepped back and said, “Don’t be a stupid c—.”
Shock in her eyes.
“An idiot could understand this. What’s wrong with you?”
“But, but…” she whined.
And then she looked around at the rest of the class, who had all stopped to listen, and who all had big grins on their silly faces.
And she looked at me. And she got it.
“Cow tits,” I called her. “Fat ass bitch.”
And then I started to warm up.
Soon the whole class was laughing at my ludicrous nastiness, and poor, confused, sweet, little, innocent girl was grinning.
She understood that words mean nothing, action means everything; it’s not what you say, it’s what you do.
Now, I don’t recommend this teaching method to everybody, but it sure is handy if you want people to grow up, get a thick skin, and start to understand that they are there to learn.
And it will go a long way towards teaching people how to handle situations that include name calling and other sorts of nastiness.
Okay, stupid, go over to Monster Martial Arts!nasty instrcution