Teaching Kids Karate Death Touch

I don’t teach kids much.
I think kids should learn martial arts,
but I don’t want to play games
or entertain little Johnny.

Mind you,
I think that people who teach kids
are superior.
They have more patience,
and more power to them.

I had a couple of kids.
They grew up,
but when they were young
I taught them martial arts.
One day
I was feeling kinda clever,
and I was sort of curious,
so I decided to teach them a special lesson.

“Now look.
You punch very lightly here,
on the side,
right here.
If you can punch them soft enough,
that opens up this pressure point here.
Now,
you have to be fast,
but a quick, light punch,
a half second later you touch here with your right index finger,
and zingo bingo,
that guy is gonna die.

My kids,
who were like 9 and 11 at the time,
practiced the move,
being very careful,
and they were like…
wide eyes.

An honest to goodness,
real,
killing technique.

And,
the last thing I told them,
I made them swear,
word of honor,
that they would never tell anybody about this technique,
and,
most important,
that they would NEVER use it on each other.
I then called the lesson
and went in for lunch.

Well,
it took about twenty minutes.
I hear sounds of a struggle,
screams and cries,
and I saunter out
and they are wrestling,
trying to hit each other
and touch the secret spot.

“I hit you first…
you should be dead!”
“You missed!
I got you!”
“You must have hit too hard,
and now I’m going to get you!”

With a straight face
I asked them what was going on.
They both said it was the others fault.
I asked them if they had been using the secret death touch.
Not even trying to look embarrassed,
they both righteously claimed that they had.
The other, you see,
deserved it.

I nodded,
and observed that they were both alive,
that got their attention,
and they came out of their anger a bit
and asked why.
I told them it was a delayed death touch thing,
that it would take effect in about eight hours.

They suddenly looked at each other,
and the look was indescribable.
I,
master founder that I am,
kept a straight face.

Of course,
I murmured,
there might be one cure.

They both wanted to know it.

Karma.
If you build up enough karma you might live,
might not even get sick.

“What’s karma?”
Sort of hard to explain,
but it is good energy you build up by being nice to people,
especially people you don’t like.

The rest of the day was a marvel.
They outdid each other,
trying to wait on each other,
clean each others room up,
get food for each other,
give things to each other.

Funny,
when the wife got home,
and found out what was going on,
she got mad at me.
Is that weird?
I mean,
I had just created world peace!
I wonder what would happen if I showed her the
secret death touch.

Ah, well.
There is a death touch,
you know.
I think it was John Gilbey
who recored an actual instance
of seeing it at work,
in one of his books.
Been a long time,
so you would have to do some googling
to find out which book.
Might have been
Secret Fighting Arts,
or something like that.

And then
there is the secret death touch,
where the assassin wears a ring
with a sticker on it,
and the sticker is coated with poison.
Got to be careful not to close your hands too tightly
and to shake just right
so the victim doesn’t feel the scratch.

And then,
my favorite,
there is supposed to be a ninja death touch.
You coat your hands with some sort of waxlike substance,
then put a poison on the wax,
a simple handshake
and the poison is in the victim’s system.
I think there is more to it than that,
but you get the idea.

But,
my favorite death touch,
is when you practice punching for twenty years,
pounding on rocks and things,
and make your hand so
immune to pounding,
that when you pound on some poor fool’s skull,
it shatters pretty easy.

I think of all of them,
that is the most sure.
Just overwhelming
sheer power,
backed up by discipline
and twenty years worth of work out fun.

Anyway,
take a gander at
The Punch.

http://www.monstermartialarts.com/The_Punch%21.html

It’s the fastest easiest way
to get a rhino busting,
elephant deflating,
hippo popping
punch.

It’s knowledge,
you see,
and when you know what you are supposed to do
before you do it,
then you get where you are going
ten times faster.

All righty,
Let me know how it is going out there,
All wins appreciated,
and if I screwed up,
I really want to know what and how
so I can fix it.
And,
that said,
you guys and gals
have an incredible day
and a fantastic work out!