Kung Fu Needed to Fend Off Zombie Attack


Kung Fu is definitely needed in this rapidly changing world. The second report of zombies (a zombie) attacking a man and eating his face off has been reported in Louisiana.

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A spear through the eyeball!

Police are claiming it is a new drug, called mephedrone, but this is rather unlikely. Yes, it is true that marijuana results in the munchies, but a drug that causes people to munch on the face?

No, it is more likely that this is the first of real live (?) zombie attacks.

And, it is true that kung becomes a necessity for handling the zombies. In a world where guns are outlawed only a martial artist will be able to pick up a sword and behead the foul creatures that are doing the munching.

The good Kung Fu-er will likely have a practice sword in his garage, and if he doesn’t, he can make a spear that will penetrate the zombies skull and skewer the brain, thus rendering the brain inoperative…we hope.

Beheading works instantly. Poking a brain with a spear sometimes works. A clear shot through the eyes and out the back of the skull, or through the mouth and, again, to the back of the skull, usually works.

Interestingly, through the skull itslef takes an immense amount of force, and the results are sometimes mixed. The zombie might drop, he might go into contortions, he might keep coming at his victim.

But, even if he keeps coming, if one grabs the base of the spear he can actually hold the zombie back. The base of the spear should be wrapped or roughed so that blood doesn’t make the spear too hard to hold. Nothing is worse than having a zombie at spear length, and watching that length dwindle as the shaft slips through the hands. A little cross piece at the base of the spear is probably the best solution to protect against this type of happening.

Anyway, whether it is a zombie attack, or just a plain old druggee attack, one should have the discipline of Kung Fu, plus a few good spears or swords.

A good hack, or just a competence thrust, and the threat is over, at least until the next zombie.

And, if you are in doubt as to what type of Kung Fu to study, The Shaolin Butterfly at Monster Martial Arts (dot) com is a top notch zombie killer.

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