Learn Zombie Kung Fu or Get Your Face Eaten Off!

The ultimate argument for learning Zombie Kung Fu occurred in Miami when a naked fellow by the name of Rudy Eugene ate a homeless man’s face. Rudy, it appears, ingested a drug called ‘bath salts.’ This street concoction fried his brain, and he decided to go McDonalds on the face of Ronald Poppo.

martial arts work out

Do this to a Zombie’s face!

Ronald, unfortunately, didn’t know Zombie Kung Fu.

What is the self defense move for somebody trying to eat your face off?

Head butt? Eat back?

The fact is that drugs do make zombies; drugs kill brains, and the unbrained ones then do whatever they wish, which, in this case, involved making a happy meal out of some poor schmucks nose and cheeks and stuff.

It is estimated that more than 80% of America is on drugs. This includes prescription drugs, street drugs, but not alcohol, coffee, or the like.

The word drug comes from a french word, drogue, which refers to barrels used to hold medicinal herbs.

The purpose (one of the purposes) of drugs is to cause unawareness so that medical attention can be given.

Modern times drugs are referred to as dope, and the prime purpose is to give joy through stupidity.

Kung Fu, on the other hand, or any good martial art such as taekwondo, krav maga, jujitsu,a nd so on, imparts awareness. People actually get smarter. Their bodies tedox, their brains wake up, and they start actually thinking, and can even attain enlightenment, which is the highest expression of the thought process in a human being.

That one does become smarter is proven by the fact that people who study Kung Fu don’t eat other peoples faces off.

Thus, studying an art like Hung Gar or Preying Mantis or wing Chun will not only make a person smarter, better able to handle the world, and so on, it will give him recourse in the event that a zombie tries to eat his face.

While the self defense techniques for specific zombie attacks have not been categorized or explored in any detail, it is obvious that an aware person will have enough presence of mind to kick an unaware person in the nuts using zombie Kung Fu.

zombie kung fu



1 thought on “Learn Zombie Kung Fu or Get Your Face Eaten Off!

  1. doordirt4creations

    This is a great post. now, what is the action part of it? The guy on drugs to this level does NOT feel pain…


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