Martial Arts Weapons and Buying a Gun

Martial Arts Weapons are interesting. They cut, they slice, they dismember…and they insert holes in the body through which blood can flow, organs can be splattered, and all sorts of other good stuff.

Yes, a gun is a martial arts weapon.

Oddly, though I have studied martial arts for 45 years, I have almost no experience with guns.

So now I’m planning to tour the country with a trailer, and I wonder about guns.

I think I need one. I’m stopped in some lonely truck stop with no trucks, and Beavis and Butthead decide to steal my generator, sure would be nice if I could shoot them in parts of their bodies that would be uncomfortable.

I don’t want to, you know…I just think it would be easier than putting my 63 year old body to work beating up some 20 year olds.

I thought about getting an action for a shotgun. Just the action, because when somebody is about to open your front door that ka-ching sound will act as a very efficient deterrent. Of course, one would argue, if you get the thunder, why not get the lightening? So, would a shotgun be the thing to get? Of course, where would I keep it in my rolling home? Somebody comes to play cards I hate to have to kick the shotgun aside so they can sit down.

I thought about a handgun, very seriously, but what are the laws on a handgun? I mean, it is in my home, I should have a right, but the constitution is sort of a myth in America these days, and I have seen enough corrupt cops to know that I could be asking for trouble. And, even if they are not corrupt, what are the laws for taking weapons from state to state? I’d hate to wake up some morning with Obama on my doorstep, full cowboy regalia, with a shiny star on his chest, telling me that I have broken city code 1934bc and must now spend 80 years in prison…or make a political contribution.

One thing I will be carrying, however, is a machete. Probably a couple of them. I mean, if I can’t put big holes in little people, shouldn’t I at least be able to start a collection of dismembered limbs?

So, I don’t know about the bang bangs, I’ll look into that more, but I will be slicing and dicing my way through whatever Beavis and Butthead the US has to offer.

I call it the ‘help hand’ weapon,’ you know? I helps myself to their hands. He he he. Sniffle. Snorf. HAHAHAHA!

Get it? Helping hands? I help myself to their hands!

Here beavis, beavis, beavis.


This has been an article on martial arts weapons.

martial arts weapons

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