Man Steals Own Boob Tube And Wonders Why Didn’t I Learn Kung Fu!


This fellow had to be asking why didn’t he learn Kung Fu. He lived in Wilmington, Delaware, and he was sauntering down the sidewalk, approaching his own home. Seeing a fellow carrying a TV set, and seeing that the fellow was struggling, he quickly jumped in and offered to help.

You can imagine his astonishment, maybe when he reached for the falling remote, or maybe noticed a glass stain on the top, or whatever, that he was holding his own TV set. He looked at his own house up the street and realized that his front door was open! That’s right, he was helping an actual criminal steal his own television set!

Now, what do you do if you find yourself in such a predicament? Do you let go of the TV, breaking it, and attempt a front kick? Do you ask the thief to place it on the pavement for a moment, pretending you are tired or need to regrip it, and then scream bloody murder?

Heck, the criminal has ransacked your very home. He has gone through your possessions, taken whatever he wanted, and treated your home like a grocery store! Is there any reason to think he hasn’t served time, doesn’t know how to beat people up, isn’t willing to knock you bloody over a television set?

That’s the point at which you wished you had learned a good style of Kung Fu. Something like Wing Chun or Pa Kua Chang, or maybe even a bit of Tai Chi Chuan! After all, if you want to go toe to toe with a criminal, you need to be in good physical shape, and you need to know how to inflict a little damage while not getting a little damage.

Now, your best bet is just to scream. After all, criminals don’t want to be caught, they want to get away with your stuff! That’s why they are criminals in the first place, you know?

Your second best bet, this in the case that he decides to take you out and continue with his shopping spree of your stuff, is to maintain distance and try a kick for the gonads. You should do this while screaming, of course. Kicks between the legs, taking out the knees, all while staying away from his criminal fists is a good idea.

Your last chance, is to kick, hit, duke it out, wrestle him, do anything you can to take him out, all while screaming, all while trying to make sure he doesn’t get close to you. If you study something like Tai Chi Chuan, a Shaolin Kung fu, or any good martial art system like that, you are going to have a good advantage. A criminal usually won’t have the mental discipline it takes to learn Kung Fu, so if you have taken lessons, you will definitely have a better chance of surviving the battle.

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