The State of the Martial Arts Monster!


Well well,
Top of the Fantastic Morning to Ya!
And Happy September Fool’s Day!
And,
the question leaps eternal…
have you done your work out today?
No?
Well hop to it!
Time is a wasting,
you know?

You may notice the old newsletter format.
I liked writing the old one
but it was like writing an article
or maybe even an ad.
Efficient,
quick,
but no personality.
so,
let’s try this one for a while.

And,
speaking of newsletters,
if you haven’t been receiving it
please let me know.
The old format
might not have been getting through.

Now,
let’s talk.
Let’s talk state of the Monster.
My wife and I are streamlining,
getting rid of excess,
and are half way to a truck.
A big truck,
a kung fu truck that runs over things
and laughs!
Ha ha ha!
A truck that will pull my matrixed fanny
al-l-l the way around the country.

I know,
I haven’t talked about it much,
but the plan has always been there.
Go around the country,
meet people,
put on seminars,
and observe the state of the Monster
everywhere.

And,
after we get a truck,
we get a trailer,
and save up a small stash
a little rathole
funds for anything that might happen
while we cruise the USA.

Of course,
that is if the country stays together,
and that means that
whatever you do,
don’t vote for…
XXXXX XXXXX

Whew!
Caught myself just in time.
No politics.
Don’t care about politics.

Now,
I think the only other thing
on this subject of the state of the monster
is me.
Ah,
me.
My favorite subject.

Me is in pretty good shape.
Actually,
fantastic shape.
Over 60
able to kick beau-tocks
and even on the youngie 19 year olds.

And,
I am doing more and more yoga.
I would rather do the martial arts more and more,
but yoga is more specifically aimed
at making my body last.
I need it to last,
so I can come to a town near you
and beat somebody up.
Grin.

And,
while I’m on the subject,
one of my hobbies
so to speak
is translating things.
Religious things,
and I should say something about this.

I am a martial artist.
Die hard.
Fanatic.
100%.
however,
the other 100% of me
is a writer.
Some of the things I’ve done as a writer
are actually more fanatic
than the things I’ve done
as a martial artist.
Have you ever met anybody
who has made a list
of all the adverbs in an LL Stine book?
I have.
How about somebody who has read the dictionary?
I read it,
made a list of 80 pages
of words I didn’t know.
And I thought I was smart.
Huh!
How about,
and this is a good one,
have you ever met anybody
who has written a 200 page book in two days?
I did that one.
And all those things made me a better writer.
I do the horse stance for hours,
I run my forms backwards,
I do techniques endlessly,
and people would say that is crazy.
But the writer in me
is just as crazy.

And,
one of the things I did as a writer
was teach myself Latin.
I spent a couple of years
all on my own
learning the ins and outs of that language
just so I could be a better writer.
Talk about learning a different art.
And,
one of the things I do now,
to make myself a better writer,
and a better person,
and a better martial artist,
so I can write better about better martial arts
is translate various religious manuals.
If I can understand the universe better
it will make me a better martial artist.
And,
I have to tell you,
I don’t take these things
and just reread them,
I actually translate them
so they make sense neutronically.
So,
there you go.
And,
not to drive the point home,
I remember something about the Shaolin Temple,
being called a temple for some reason.
Oh, yeah,
it’s a religious place.
Sort of like Monkeyland,
if you get my drift.

The point is that the martial arts aren’t just an art or two,
they aren’t kick and punch when you’re young,
and then get old and die,
they are a way of life,
a discipline that makes one strong and young
forever.

I’ll come back next lifetime,
be buff in my diapers,
able to front kick mama
if she doesn’t give me enough milk.
Yowza!

(Actually,
I suppose that’s wierd,
or perhaps even disgusting,
in a way,
but there you go.)

Anyway,
now you know what the Monster is doing,
why it is doing what it is doing,
how it will last long enough to come kick your beau-tocks,
and everything else
that really is important today.

So,
a word of advice,
do your work outs,
run your forms
forward and backwards,
do your self-defense techniques mercilessly
because
someday
the Monster is coming
to a town near you.
Grrr!

You guys and gals
have a week beyond compare.
A work out every day,
and love the one you’re with.

Al

Here’s the Yogata page

http://www.monstermartialarts.com/Yogata.html

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