Death To The Marines And Killer Kung Fu Toys!


Death to the US marines, huh? Sounds like some pretty grisly stuff. Still, we have to wander over some unpleasant hijinks before we get to killer Kung Fu Toys. Check out the video, then I’ll tell you the good stuff.

What many people neglect to remember is that the United States was once in deadly struggle with the Philippines. Odd headline, as the Filipino people are among the most pleasant in the world, and they even helped us during World War Twice. Still, back in 1900 the Philippine people fought a war for independence against the evil Imperial Americkaners.

Now, the battles didn’t last long, the Americans had some mighty fine modern weapons, and the Islanders didn’t. Made for a sort of one sided series of battles. However, the ferocity of the Filipinos was truly unbelievable, and they caused the US military much grief, and even effected change in our army equipment.

First, these insane, little Filipinos would charge out of the thick undergrowth swinging these long and sharp Machetes. These fellows were tough from slicing paths through the jungle vines, they practiced martial arts like silat and escrima, and they just loved to use those machetes on the bare American throat. So the marines started wearing these leather collars on their necks to stop the ‘nicking effect’ and, you guessed it, that’s why marines are referred to as ‘Leathernecks.’

The second change in military procedures was just as dire. The US military was using a .38 long colt. This was a great pistol, lots of fun, looked cool, and did the job…until the Philippine War of Independence.

You see, these little, brown fellows, specifically the Moros, would come out of the jungle screaming like maniacs, and the soldiers would shoot them with those 38s, and the Moros would keep coming! So the army started searching for a handgun with more stopping power. The end result of that search was the 45 automatic, which is known not just for putting holes in bodies, but for blowing entire limbs off of bodies.

Now, last in our little list of odd things and fun, is the killer Kung Fu toy. I say Kung Fu, but I believe it originated on the Philippines, and it has widespread history, in other forms and other arts, as a weapon. I am talking about the yo yo.

Think about it, all those cool tricks can be used with a thicker string, and it that toy can be turned into a bonker of heads, or a nooser of necks. Makes you think twice about that Birthday present for little Johnny, eh? Chuckle.

Head on over over to Monster Martial Arts if you want a free martial arts ebook (on the home page), or to learn an Indonesian Martial Art guaranteed to slice and dice the hardest of bodies. Grin.

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