Barack Obama Becomes Shaolin Kung Fu Master!


Okay, he hasn’t become one yet, but he should! Look, the mess our country is in, all of our elected officials, and even the unelected ones, should take lessons in the martial arts. And it is this writer’s recommendation that Barack Obama become a Master of the Shaolin Butterfly so he can adequately defend himself against people like Rush Limbaugh!

When I was undergoing the trials and tribulations of fatherhood, I learned a neat trick. When my sons wanted to borrow money, go out to parties, and that sort of thing, I made them freestyle me. If they won, they went, if I won, they did the dishes! Though they had the speed and quickness of youth on their side, I had decades of martial arts, and in this sneaky way I reigned supreme as a father should!

Compare raising recalcitrant, stubborn headed children to telling recalcitrant, stubborn headed politicians what to do, and you will see the logic of my method. Simply, when that politician wants to raise your taxes, tell him he must freestyle you first. When he gets caught with that slinky babe snorting…stuff, make him freestyle you.

Politicians won’t want to do this, of course, but they must be made to come to heel. I mean, the alternative would be to rise up in revolt, and we don’t want that! So my method is a wonderful method.

Now, as to Barack Obama, I believe he should learn the Shaolin Butterfly. Number one, no offense to the Prez, but he’s a skinny dude. When some elephant like Rush Limbaugh goes after him, Barak will have a means to defend himself.

The Shaolin Butterfly specializes in quick sidesteps, it uses the Matrixing Technology of the Martial Arts to get out of the way. Then, rolling the hands like a buzzsaw, Obama could slide in with a blistering series of dim mak death strikes. Man, Rush wouldn’t stand a chance!

Of course, if Rush was smart, he could learn Butterfly Kung Fu and then he would know what Barak has in store for him. Then he would stand a chance, and the battle for health care, or immigration, or whatever, would become a fair battle. Let me tell you, what I am advocating here is brilliant, for a punch in the face is harder to lie about than the economy!

Okey doke, I think we’ve about said it all here. Stop voting, and start studying the Martial Arts, if not the butterfly, then Aikido or Pa Kua, or just good old fashioned Karate! Know this, if Barak Obama was a real Shaolin Kung Fu Master…this country wouldn’t be in half the trouble it is in!

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