The Brain Crash Behind the Martial Arts


There is a huge problem with the martial arts. This problem, to be plain, is the result of lowered intelligence. And this problem can, if not addressed, result in the lowered intelligence of the practitioners.

Having said all that, let me say that I believe that the martial arts are the greatest invention since anything. Done properly, they result in high levels of discipline, increased morality, and a calm viewpoint of life that reassures society on all levels. And, not to be ingenuous, they are butt kicking!

Now, having properly protected myself against the occasionally rabid practitioner, let me describe that huge problem. The problem is one of power and hard headedness. Simply, once one becomes an authority in the martial arts, one tends to squash anyone who threatens that power.

You’ve all heard the fellow in the ring who threatens to behead his opponent with a ax kick…just because he really dont like him. This is the heart of spectacle, this is the gladiator gone amuck, creating his own ratings, causing the crowd to cheer for him, inciting to riot all in the interests of a corporate deal. This is the lesson of classrooms such as the WWE, yet brought into all other facets of sport where a buck is to be made.

Now, once the ignorant lout becomes ‘champeen of the wurld,’ he continues his career through seminars, and even his own chain of schools. And in this career he continues his world class example by bad English, manners and morals. Any student who asks a question is apt to receive his answer in headlocks and armbars, and not through the scientific reasoning of levers and fulcrums.

Now, thank the stars, this is not all instructors, many instructors are intelligent, joyous beings. But, what do we do about the, for lack of a better word, louts? I mean, I don’t think the various sporting commissions will require a sixth grade education as necessary for a fellow who has dynamite in his fists.

Well, the answer lies in education, but not necessarily of the world champion. The answer lies in educating the masses. And this answer is possible through the education of the school systems.

Yes, it is about time to lay the smack down on, apply a head popping leg scissors to, wrench the arm right out of the socket of…boards of education everywhere. Time to take them teachers out and bash them in the heads with their own books. You want to fix the martial arts, start earlier, and pick the right target, next time your kid comes home with an F, head down to the local teacher store, and take a good dose of knuckle knocking, slobber knocking common sense, and convince them idiots that they better not to fail yer kid, or else!

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